The Problem is Sex

The problem is/was/will be that women can get sex any time they want to, and with whoever they want to. Well, mostly. This is simply unacceptable to a society where the man is seen as the lord of everything. Which is why they need to have so many rules for women. Which is why you have to tie her modesty irredeemably with her sexuality. Which is why a family’s “honour” is so unscrupulously intermingled with only women. Which is why Rape is not as heinous a crime as murder. Which is why her character is termed “loose” if she is sexually proactive. Which is why the legal definition of rape is only vaginal penetration by phallus. Which is why Sodomy is not even a thoroughly recognized sexual offence.

And which is why the authorities believe that fellatio can’t forced. Groping and pinching in crowd can’t be avoided. Because, when you’re in a mob, your hands develop a carnal instinct of their own.

Manu knew it all along. He sure was a visionary.

And so was Nietzsche when he believed that morality is just a fiction used by the herd of inferior human beings to hold back the few superior human beings.

A task excellently done!

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The Other Side of Violence

Why are men violent? I mean, domestically.

And why so, with their wives and not (mostly) with their girlfriends? It’s because they’re afraid. Emotionally weak and vulnerable. More than the aggression, it’s their defense. Something like you’d do instinctively upon seeing a potentially poisonous snake.
With that, we arrive on a more important question: Is that justified?

Ofcourse, like truth, justifications are subjective. No matter how much we try to put in objectivity in any of the men-women relationship, the bitter fact is that, we simply can’t. Somethings are not meant for that. And that is what -I think- makes them more complex than they already are.
But: there are two things in which I firmly believe in. One, everyone must have their own point of view on this. Two, none can’t live with them and without them. Black & White. Yin & Yang. Batman & Joker. Nature, most certainly, is a sadist.

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All Will [be] Well

The way I see it, life is never as fair and just as much I fancied it to be.  As the college nears its inevitable end, I can’t help but realize that those were -effectively- the best days of my life, and the road ahead is so not smooth. Considering the fact that I’m such a complicatedly manufactured specimen of human race, the predicament seems a million times worse than it actually was/is/will ever be. The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars But in ourselves, that we are underlings. May be. May not be. It was supposed to happen like this, I know. But then, why does it hurt so much? That I’ll never know.

I always believed that life is a very continuous series of crests and troughs, arranged in a very neat fashion. Like a simple sine wave. But I really can’t recall even one single moment when I felt genuinely happy ever since I’ve been in college. The occasional once which came had their little baggage. But I never really cribbed about them. I kept consoling myself that there must be a better plan for me by Him. I hope there is. I seriously hope there is.

Novembers used to be the best year of the month for me. I used to look forward for them every time when Decembers came. For twenty two years, they just kept on getting better and better. Then came the twenty-third, and November is no longer the most cherished month of the year! Thinking about the last November, I also realize life changes so much in just a span of twelve months. Like right now, I’ve no idea where I’ll be in the next November. More importantly, how I’ll be.

I’ve almost stopped listening to music these days. More or Less. But there is this one song from 3 Idiots– All izz well. The song is not great or something per se, but there are these lines from the song which made immense amount of sense to me. Henceforth, they’ll be my facebook status for a long time to come.

Scholarship की पी गया दारु, गम तो फिर भी मिटा नहीं,

अगरबत्तियां राख हो गयी, God तो फिर भी दिखा नहीं.

I don’t know. Prasoon Joshi, is it? Too lazy to do a Google search.

*****

I’ve a feeling, that my Godot will come. And I’ll prove Becket wrong, individually. But then, the feelings, the aspiration, who the hell cares about them anyway? Isn’t the world much simpler, absolutely non-layered, right? If Only.

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Kaminey Kritics!

I don’t remember any movie in a long time whose pre-release fuss was so much. Honestly speaking, I get a little excited and little more curious with all this kind of stuff. Ever since I saw the trailor of Kaminey in march [when I was watching Pink Panther-2. No! I don’t want any comments on this, coz this post isn’t about that] for the first time, I knew I’ll be seeing it as soon as it gets released. My only tiny apprehension was regarding Shahid Kapoor. Just that, he really can’t act. But I convinced myself, coz the movie bore the tag of Vishal Bhardwaj. That was March.

Aah! The notorious bollywood strike was here. April. May. June. July saw the unveiling of the music of  Kaminey. And also, the very famous Dhan Te Nan. So far so good. Then there were the tracks Pehli baar mohabbat ki hai and Raat ke dhai baje. Things were looking better. We’ll get to see an intelligent movie; probably the first one after DevD.

Two days before the release of the movie, I read this review. Things haven’t been so good ever! I was super excited. I couldn’t wait for it’s release. I’ve lost count on the number of attempts I made to book the tickets. Online, Offline. All Failed! Because, my ATM Debit Card is neither Visa or Mastercard. But I was content. I was watching it on saturday. Not too shabby for me. And I already had plans to watch it again sometime in the coming week. Yaayye!

Saturday, 15th of August. This was the first time I was not watching a movie in PVR in Delhi, attributed to apparent unavailability of tickets. Duhh! We were at 3Cs in Lajpat Nagar. The movie hall was good. The company which I had was even better.

Cut to the movie. The movie [almost] began with a very sensual lip-locking between Shahid and Priyanka. Very realistic! Very passionate. Instantaneous turn-on. With respect to the movie, ofcourse. 😉 Half an hour into the movie, there was just this one chasing sequence which got me to the edge of the seat. And I wanted to be on the edge for the rest of the movie too. I was glad! Finally, the movie is really ‘starting’. Little did I know that it’d be last time I’ll be on the edge in a 3 hour long ordeal. Well, ‘ordeal’ would be a little too harsh word to use. It was a nice movie. When I say ‘nice’, all I mean is that it wasn’t bad. Definitely not good. The disappointment which I felt after the movie was over was not because of Vishal Bhardwaj [or even Shahid Kapoor!], it was because of the reviews and the hype.

The movie had nothing which the critics claimed it did. You can compare Vishal Bhardwaj to Quentin Tarantino in a very broad sense of word. But you just can’t compare Pulp Fiction with Kaminey. So Not done, dear reviewers! I’ll never understand why Guddu stammered, or why Charlie lisped, or why Shahid wasn’t made to dance [the only thing which he is really good at]; probably not till I am alive and in my right senses. And I’m very sorry Priyanka, I didn’t fall in love with Sweety -like we did to Geet in Jab We Met– simply because she was hardly there in the movie. Apart from the hand-held camera work, there was nothing extra-ordinarily brilliant about the movie. It is so not the most well edited movies of recent times. Let’s not talk about DevD, but even Gulal was much better edited. Vishal Bhardwaj ji, I think you had too-much-to handle in one go. Go Charlie Go was good. But not Charlie, or Guddu, or Sweety! Gulzar sir did justice, and so did the music director in Vishal Bhardwaj. But that was pretty much it.

This review, is more like a review of reviewers rather than of the movie per se. I think I’ve lost faith in you people. May be, me and my friends should start our own reviewing service.

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The Sins That People Do

Pride. Envy.

I don’t know about the people people, but I do happen to know me. And these are my sins. Notwithstanding the romances of my future, I can almost vouch for my repentance in past.

The problem with these sins are that they are not outrageously apparent to naked eye. Unlike Gluttony or Sloth or even Greed, for that matter. Neither they are satiable. A glutton can eat, slother can sleep.. But what possibly could an envy-er do? Not be jealous? Well, dear reader, had it been so simple, there wouldn’t have been an Othello! And this post too..

I think I also cited Pride. To be truly true, it just makes up for 20 %; in my case, that is. And you thought devil’s favourite sin was Vanity? It should be Envy. There is nothing more haunting than Envy. To make it worse, it’s insatiable; inconsolable. Retribution-cum-Deprivation being the only salvation of this abjectly lost cause.

***

This city is afraid of me. I’ve seen it’s true face.

–Rorschach, Watchmen.

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Sophos

..But this is the way, it is supposed to happen

I know that.

..And if that is the case,

Then why does it hurt so much?

Source- The Colour Purple by Alice Walker.

Resemblence to any person living or dead [w.r.t to my life, ofcourse! 😛 ] is purely coincidental.

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October Onus

People have been wanting me to write. It feels good. Obviously it does! Even I’ve been wanting to write for quite some time now, but something or the other kept springing up. Then, there were times when I didn’t feel like writing. Anyway, let’s move on.
About the title- Ever since August 2006, I’ve written here every month. So this is a ritual, which has to be performed at least once in a month. I’m in no mood to break the chain right now. Oh, and by the way, this blog will soon get another author. The due delivery date is [tentatively] any day after 4th of November in this year. We’re waiting anxiously!
*****
I don’t like this time of the year. It’s not exactly cold, neither it’s hot. It’s somewhere in between. Over the past few days, I’ve learned that I like things in black and white. I really don’t see the point of being diplomatic as far as issues are concerned. Although, with people, it’s totally the other way round! Besides, people do appreciate if you’ve got an unequivocal standing [on issues]. It is of little significance then if your viewpoint doesn’t overlap with theirs.  Moreover, it also makes you an interesting conversationalist! Figure out how…
****
And here is the reason why I don’t like this time of the year even more. It’s at this time that I realize my attendance is falling short in almost every course. I’ve to collect all my will power and determination to wake up at 7 then. The worst part is, that I can’t take a bath in the morning coz it’s too cold for that. And I don’t like getting out of hostel without showering. I also can’t bathe in morning. That implies- I can’t get out in morning. Hence, it becomes a vicious circle! Can I be accused for short attendance then? But I’m pretty sure; none of you has ever faced a problem of this kind. Now I’m thinking that [probably] I should change the name of the blog to “TheOnlyOne” 😛 Or does “SuiGeneris” sounds better? Shall we poll for it? [Wordpress has introduced this feature very recently 😀 ]
***
‘Kuch Kam’ from the [supposedly gay] movie Dostana is all I’ve been listening to from past 3 days! I don’t know whether to thank her or not. I want to hear to something else, but I just keep coming back to it after every few songs. There is something wrong with me. Or is it with the song? :-O
**
Have you ever watched any play twice? Back to Back? With two of the world’s most beautiful women alongside? It’s absolutely worth it! 😉
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A saturday

August 2005

A boy, straight out of school, comes to Delhi to pursue engineering. Not from a very metro city. Mostly unaware of how the world operates, with a pathetic dressing sense, and no communication skills whatsoever. Just the usual exuberance. And confidence. He had his first cell phone then. A brand new Nokia 2600 [har jeb mein rang]. There were hardly 10 contact numbers in that phone. But no e-mail id of his own.

October 2005

I think it was 17th of october, saturday. Time- 6:00 PM. He was at Sarojini Nagar Market. This was his very first visit to this place, which was to become so familiar in next few months. Kabooom! There was a blast in the market. It was in one of his adjacent lanes. Nobody panicked. Nobody knew the ambit of blasts. The crowd thought of it as some regular LPG cylinder bursting. He continued his shopping, like everyone else,  not for long though.. because in next 15 minutes there was police all over the place. They were trying to evacuate the market as calmly as they could, amidst all sorts of fire-rescue devices. And TV reporters. One of the reporters even talked to our guy. I think she was from NDTV. I can’t recall exactly what did he say, or rather did he say anything at all? Umm.. and he also had to board the train on that very same day. It was at 10PM. So what he did is that he paid 60 bucks to an auto from SN market to IIT hostel gate [it’s normally 25-30, with augmented meter rates.. it was even cheaper then, but apparently, he didn’t know coz as I already told you.. this was his first visit to market]. There were some 60 contacts in his Nokia 2600 by now. And one gmail, yahoo mail id each.

Circa- September 2008

13th, Saturday evening, again. Time was around 6:45PM. Our protagonist is sitting in his hostel room. He had a very depressing, lull day. He had been wanting to drink for some time now. Apparently, his throat was parched profusely. Suddenly, from somewhere, somehow.. his friend [ who was there to spend the weekend with him, and who had ragged him real bad, way back in August 2005] walks in and inform him about the blasts. In CP, in Karolbagh and in GK! Just 3? Fairly low-intensity. Hopefully, no one has died. Within sometime, his Nokia 2600 was flooded with sms’s. And he didn’t know whom to ask for well being. There were so many of them in his phone book! Then there were many others on net, whose number he didn’t have but they were as important as anyone else. May be, more important than others. But mostly he was callous. He did drink that day invariably. Infact, drank a little too much. After much cleansing of his ancient Nokia 2600, he is now left with some 190 odd contacts. He is very active on Orkut, Facebook, even Blogging! Was even awarded “Brilliant Weblog 2008” by one of his fellow blogger.

This is how insensitive I -rather WE- have become.

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Rocked On! Then Why so Serious?

Where do we begin? The Dark Kight? The Rakhi? The Independence Day?

Sorting out the list by the amount of verbosities which I’m about to do, I guess I’ll begin from TDK. This is my very first instance of watching a Hollywood action flick in theater. And I did it thrice, in order to make sure the impression is indelible. Now I guess the impression has become overwhelming! Surely, the movie isn’t as good as Godfather or Shawshank Redemption or the likes of it.. but it does deserve to be there in IMDB top 10. There are 3 USPs of the movie- Heath Ledger, the 10 minute pre-intermission car chase sequence and the ending. For me, I mean. Others might choose to differ. Fair enough. I’ll just like to add one more thing to it. If our parent’s generation boasted about dialogues of Sholay and The Godfather, our generation will take pride in dialogues of TDK. And not only of The Joker, but also of Batman, Bruce Wayne, Alfred, Lucius Fox and of course Harvey Dent.  I, in particular liked the ending. It was really moving. “Set the dogs on me…” is definitely the most accentuating dialogue of Batman in the movie.

****

That was almost a fortnight ago.

Now, Rakhi and Independence day have become a little stale in the present context. I’ll just say this one thing which I didn’t realize by myself yet. Someone told me that I should avoid being in Delhi during Rakhis.. pata nahin kaun-kaun rakhi baandh de! This was brilliant! I mean why didn’t I think in this fashion before, with all my supposedly “dirty” mind? :-O She is intelligent, isn’t She? [Thanx She 😀 ] I know it is not a complement or something, but I felt immensely glad [and to be honest, a little proud too]. 😉

****

Moving on, I saw Rock On yesterday. Well, I’ll not say the movie is excellent. But it’s definitely worth watching at least once in the hall. Mostly because of the music. Music, that is, if you’re into rock. Shanker, Ehsaan, Loy have done an excellent job of making rock in hindi. Before that, all the rock bands which I’ve heard in hindi sounded next to pathetic, if not pathetic. Agreed, that they have taken inspiration from some very popular rock bands and artists.. Nonetheless, that doesn’t mitigate their work. Use of bass guitar, which is like so rare in bollywood brings in refreshing winds of change. Best song is undoubtedly Pichle saat dinon mein(live version), hands down. It is heavily “inspired” from Bryan Adams [I can’t remember which track exactly, probably cuts like a knife.. although I’ll have to listen to it again in order to be sure]. The best scene [and the moment] of the movie? Entry of Arjun Rampal -aka Joe- ‘one song late’, playing guitar with elan displaying inimitable nonchalance relentlessly! You feel so good about it. And of course, some amazing acting by him and the rest of them. Nowhere did we feel that it’s the debut film of Prachi and Farhan. The film, on the whole isn’t too good. It’s really slow in the first half. But that is not the point. The film was meant to be musical opus, and it has succeeded in this endeavour with flying colours.  I’ve listened to nothing else since watching this movie. It’s been 24 [almost] continuous hours. For the time being, I’m just Rocked On. Totally! 🙂

****

I wanted to say a few more things, but they’re just slipping of my mind right now. Invariably, I’ve written far more than I intended to. I think I will stop Me. 😛

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Birthdays Birthdays!

Alrite. So last Friday was my birthday. Again! I pretty much remember all my birthdays. Since my sixth, that is. And this wasn’t much different from the rest of them. None of my birthdays have been good for me yet. I mean, on all my birthdays, I did get one or the other disturbing news. What I got on this birthday, I will not like to disclose here. Simply speaking, it’s not worth it. What was even worse was that I didn’t get wished from people whom I really wanted to, well.. except a few. But there were considerable amount of wishes I got. My most sincere thanks to each of you who did remember. Those who didn’t, I bear no grudge. It happens. And when it’s me, this happens more than often. The fault is in my stars.

Or maybe The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, But in ourselves ..

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5 Things I learned today

1. Never ever send a message sans your name, in case your number is changed.

2. Don’t use people unless you know them well. Make friendship first. Then ask for favour. Not the other way round. The Godfather Style, is very applicable even in today’s world.. and not just occidentally, but indigenously as well.

3. Use your authority on those whom you have the right. And this right is cultivated over a long period of time, acquaintance and friendship. Not just in a day or two.

4. If you’re using someone else’s computer in his/her room, the decent thing to do is to vacate his/her chair when the concerned person returns.

5. Don’t compare yourself with others irrationaly. Sab aisa hi kar rahe hai, doesn’t work. You’re not anyone else, but You. The circumstances, the temperament, line of thought, the attitude, the approach.. these all are different for different people. Hence, using the aforementioned as maxim, time and again makes you look outrageously stupid.

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Love-All at Breakpoint

FYI- I don’t like Tennis. Not as much as some of the other people do. So for those “some” people, this post might be a little rude, offensive. My apologies to them in advance. I’m not liable to any acquistion if you choose to read further.

So there was this tritely [in]famous final between these two giants of lawn tennis, for the umpteenth number of time! Had Federar won, the papparazi would have again showered condolences on Nadal, empathizing with him like hell.. Big Deal! The repercussions, in that case wouldn’t have been as stirring as they are now. They say that it’s ‘an end of era’, ‘a new dawn of hope’ and all those clichés. I say it’s nothing. Just a win doesn’t prooves anyone’s mettle. India beating Australia in that final of triangular series down under didn’t make India the better team than Australia. It was just the matter of “that” day. It was India’s. Like it was of Nadal’s.

When a Tennis Match goes up to 5 sets, it’s really unfair to decide a winner. Then, the luck factor comes into play as well. Remember, Goran Ivanisevic? Beating Rafter in what was called a marathon game. And the final set of it? This game was no different than the present one, as for the sheer determination of both the winners. The only difference (which overshadows everything else, sadly) being that Ivanisevic wasn’t as well known as then as Nadal is now.

This doesn’t mean that I’m pro-Federar or something. I support no one, as I aforementioned. But definitely, Radal’s win is kind of change from monopoly (and monotony) of Federar. All in all, it is good for Tennis.

Here is why I don’t like Tennis. I don’t like it because I never played it. Hence, I can’t appreciate the finesse, nuances, the technique of the game. For me, [mostly] tennis is like a foreign film, with no subtitles. And this goes for every game on which I never had a first hand experience. I only started liking football once I started playing it. The better I got at it, the more I enjoyed watching it. I don’t know what it takes to hit a perfect ace. I don’t know how much practice it takes to win a point from baseline. I don’t know the strategies of net game, of hitting volleys. All this, despite the fact that I’ve played Badminton professionally, which isn’t much different than tennis, theoretically.

And here is why I don’t like tennis even more. Of all the Tennis-Crazy people, I believe almost 80 % have never seen a tennis racquet in real life. And yet, they go ‘Go-FedEx’. What the hell! Do they even know how much stamina it takes to run up-and-down court infinite number of times? To hit just that one ace, do they have any bit of idea how much he or she has worked over it? Backhand doesn’t come naturally to many. Have they ever seen Gustavo Kuerton’s powerful backhands? I’ll consider anyone a die-hard tennis fan if he/she can answer all the above questions in affirmative, and perhaps point out my mistake which I’m sure have made. Coz I’m not a fan of tennis, I can’t answer most of them in affirmative with conviction. This is what it takes to be a fan.

What deserve to be done, deserves to Overdone. – Harry Crews.

I might sound too strong in my opinions, but I’m not. All I wanted to say here is that don’t make a charade of you being ultimate tennis fanatic. Coz if you really are, you definitely wont. And don’t get too  hyper over one Federar loss or Radal’s win.

I don’t have much knowledge on tennis, so it’s still Love-All for me. Which, by the way, is a very useful maxim to be followed otherwise 😉

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I only own my Mind

For Once (again), I’m going to write just for the sake of writing. In the last 15 days, I’ve done nothing. Absolutely nothing! Except, of course, interneting. I’ve explored Facebook a lot. The games there are more than addictive. Then, they tell you all about your personality- things which you already know, things which you didn’t know and things which you’ll never know. And as of now -even though as unfortunately pathetic as it may seem- I’m hooked to all of them pretty badly.

The word ‘addiction’ reminds me of Cigarettes. For those who don’t know, I’ve been smoking for a year now. And still, I’m not addicted to it. I’ve heard all the horrendous stories about smoking, and I’m aware of all the consequences. But I don’t find anything wrong in 3-4 cigarettes in a day, coz I’ve seen people finishing 2-3 packs in a day (which is 40 cigarettes, for all you non-smokers). This doesn’t mean that I’m justifying myself. Smoking is injurious to health invariably. My solace is that I know I can quit smoking whenever I want to. But the fact is, right now I don’t want to. When you have nothing to do, a cigarette is the best way to kill time. It gives you psychological effect of relaxation. [Which it so does not]. Interestingly, my academic performance has been getting better since I’ve been smoking. [Again, I know smoking has got nothing to do with it, I just like boasting around this fact 😛 ]. And I blame absolutely no one for my starting of smoking. Nobody forced me. It was my whim to try it out. I don’t like people accusing others for their bad habits. Yes, this is one of my innumerable bad habits. But it hasn’t turned so bad that I regret it. And it never would, touchwood! I’ll quit smoking the day I’ll feel it is enough. Like I quit flirting 😉 .. And if she’ll insist!

This was so not what I envisaged writing myself. But what is written is written.

I’ve been listening to quite a few new (for me, that is) songs and bands of late. Foremost amongst them are Led Zeppelin, AC/DC, Pearl Jam and Metallica.

Led Zeppelin were the precursors to bands like GNR, Aerosmith, Metallica.. And I can see why. Achilles last stand, Battle of Evermore, Whole outta love, Kashmir are definitely worth listening of theirs. Of course, Stairway to Heaven has always been there.

I always wanted to be a die-hard fan of AC/DC. Their tees, posters are damn so cool. Now I see myself becoming one. Back in Black, Highway to Hell, Jailbreak, Hell’s Bells is what I’ve listened of them so far. There will be more of them in coming days, definitely.

There is something about Pearl Jam (and for that matter, Nirvana -Kurt Cobain- too). Their music is addictive. Like anything. I just have listened to I am Mine, and I’m already their fan. Sometimes, just one song is more than enough to realize this. Jeremy, Black, Evenflow, Indifference are still left.

Ehh.. Metallica! When I tell people I listened to rock, and then I tell I haven’t heard Metallica yet.. You should see the look on their faces! They gimme the look like- ‘What is rock apart from Metallica and Linkin Park’? (Sadly, for most people, ‘rock’ is confined to LP and Metallica). I’ve started Metallica just for the sake of people. And now that I have, I know what people have been talking about all this while. Similar to my previous experiences with F.R.I.E.N.D.S, LOTR, Godfather et al. Turn the Page has been outstanding track for me so far. Fade to Black, Master of Puppets, One, Outlaw Torn, Nothing Else Matters, Enter Sandman are also there, apart from that. But I don’t like their kind of lyrics (and LP’s too). It’s too depressing and filled with rage.

Just for the records, GnR has been my most preferred band for quite some time now. And it would be! But I don’t know how much loyalty will I be able to show to their latest album [Chinese Democracy, which has been in making for last 14 years now, and 9 of whose tracks reportedly leaked out before the official release of album which is scheduled in this  July-August. They were on YouTube too.. but now they have been removed], mostly because Slash isn’t there anymore.

Sometimes I think, I just show off too much. Like right now. Did I really need to write all this here? We’ll never know! 🙂

****

The traffic on my blog has returned to previous numbers, like it used to be. 10-15 visits a day, that is. I don’t like it, but it doesn’t bother me much either. I don’t take my blogging so seriously now. I guess I never did. By the way, check these comic strips out. I think they’re the latest buzz around. I thank Nidhi for introducing them to me.

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Tag-Book

So I got tagged again. Weirdest, Fully Faaltoo kinda tag.. whosoever started it. But I must adhere to the norms of blogosphere, and go ahead in completing it. By the way, there is another tag pending too.. by the same person. I think I’ll do it later.

Status Quo– I’m feeling damn sleepy. But I can’t sleep. I’ve got some downloads presently, and I just can’t leave ’em unattended, coz my comp is also cribbing for restarting on account of ‘automatic upgrade finished’.. big deal!

Anyway, the rules of this tag are that you’ve to write 3 lines starting from 5th sentence of page no. 123 of book which is lying nearest to you. (Now you know why I said it to be ‘fully faaltoo’) Wait! There is more to it. You also have to acknowledge the person who tagged you. (And now I know why I was tagged!)

The only book which I’ve got here with me is A House for Mr. Biswas by VS Naipaul. (I’ve been carrying this book for almost an year now, and I’ve done like 200 pages of it yet. Only the almighty know when will I be able to finish it with this pace). The lines which I’m about to quote doesn’t make any sense, at least not to me.

‘I see you have got your name in the papers’, Seth said.

Mr. Biswas shrugged.

The gods swung slowly in the hammock, frowning.

Now comes the difficult part. How do I acknowledge? Anyhow, I must! Lets say, the blogger who has tagged me is Jamaican Hash. (Kewl name? Not really, it’s just an anagram 😀 ) I’d mostly comment on her blogging paradigm. She is fine blogger. Rather, Very Fine. Perhaps, one of the finest I’ve come across yet. A bit senti kinda. I always don’t appreciate what she writes, but the way she writes makes up for pretty much everything else. There are times when I’m so engrossed in her musings that I forget to comment. Which gives an impression that I wasn’t there (on her blog, I mean). Now I really can’t be held responsible for all this impunity, am I? Sui Generis, is the word for her. Period.

I don’t have many blog buddies to thrust this tag upon. You may assume I’m not that extrovert when it comes to blogging. Nonetheless, my point is that I’m not nominating anyone to carry this tag forward. Those who want to, may do. And there is no compulsion for anyone of you to acknowledge me, in case if you want to do this tag. As it is, there is nothing much to acknowledge. 🙂

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Random Ramblings

• Okay, so first of all.. I’m too glad to see this lousy net working finally. It’s not too often I get to work on my own comp these days.
• Have you ever realized, how some people are immortalized after their death? Answer this honestly, how many of you heard of Yves Saint Laurent[aka YSL] before his death? No doubt he was an iconic figure in fashion sphere, but did -and do- we really care? Here is an interesting trivia, I share my birthday with him, but I came to know about this fact only today! I wonder what will happen when SRK or Big B will die. That was creepy, I know 😀
• I’m in mixed mood. I’m excited, coz Euro Cup is round the corner. I’m sad coz I won’t be able to see it live. There could be nothing more exciting than watching a live football game. Teams and players really don’t matter untill it’s soccer. The match between two local school teams is as good as Brazil vs Argentina, if you’ve enough of soccer in you. My personal favourites are again France. Just because of Zizou. Although he isn’t there in the team anymore, yet I’d continue my loyalty with them. I hope Thiere Henry will be in his club form, now that Zizou is gone. Viera and Makelele might do wonders despite their age. And Trezeguet has always been there.
• I finished first three movies of Star Wars series today. Now I want rest of them, asap! But that isn’t happening until July. The kind of technology George Lucas used then, will we ever be able to use at least in near future? By ‘We’, I mean ‘Us’.. i.e Indian Film Industry. And talking about movies, and songs, if you like the song ‘Iris’ by Goo Goo Dolls, then you must watch City of Angels asap. You’ll like the song even more. The lyrics of the song are damn perfect for the movie. And the film in itself is worth watching for.
• I finished Godfather [the book] in 8 hours, Animal Farm in 3 hours, and currently am reading Lolita and The Trial. But I just don’t know how to upload them in widgets, now that the old wordpress is gone and I’ve no idea where from to get the web link of my posted images. Somebody please help!

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Grow Up.. Or Don’t?

Living all by yourself, in a completely strange city.. is not an easy thing to do. I’m glad, perhaps a little proud of myself that I’ve come up in flying colours in this task. Well, not exactly “flying colours”, but I’ve done decently good till yet. Although, I’m faltering in the job which I was supposed to ho here, but I don’t regret that. I think, on some level, I’m doing it deliberately; without being consciously aware of it nonetheless. I know this for sure that I don’t want to come back to this place again. For that matter, I don’t want to work in any such kinda place ever! I don’t see myself like this. I just don’t belong here. And after all I’ve done, I don’t deserve being here.

No, I’m not asking for too much. Just a small cubicle in an air-conditioned office with a desktop computer isn’t too much to ask for, is it? My other peers are pretty much in the same state. And they talk of egalitarian society!

This is so not the way I imagined my summer training to be.

***

For the very first time today, I missed my family. This was induced when I saw the orkut profile of one of my cousin’s. That kid, has been born and brought up in front of me. He was the only baby who was my favourite [of course, at that time I was too dumb to like kids; Whatever] and is 9 years younger than me. He is in class 6th, and he is on Orkut. Orkut has been a phenomenon, hasn’t it? Now I really feel like a grown up. Finally I do! But I’m not too excited about it. I’d rather be my Papa’s kid, continue fighting my sis over the last piece of Kurkure, and shun away all the responsibilities. But no matter how much I want that to happen, it is never going to happen again. 😦

पूरब से, सूर्य उगा, ढला अंधियारा..
जागी हर दिशा-दिशा, हुआ उजियारा|

The last time I heard this song, I vividly remember I did not use to go to school then. I’m not kidding, but I haven’t heard it since then. There was a video too, of this song, which used to come before the 8:30 evening news on Doordarshan. I know I can easily find that on you-tube or something. But the thing is that I don’t want to see it again. I don’t want those memories to come back. I won’t be able to see it.

Why do we have to grow up, after all? 😦

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Finickiness- At it’s Best!

First things of everything are special. We might not remember our first train journey, but most of us do remember our first aero plane journey. And we do tell about it fondly and proudly and perhaps interestingly, or so we try. But first bus voyage? Is it even something worth mentioning during quotidian banter? Leave alone the interesting part! How the hell it can possibly be special for anyone?

I’ve partly negative, but mostly affirmative answer to each of these. Let’s begin from the beginning.

Now this might be astounding to some people, but this was my first [or probably second-third] experience in the bus. I’ve only travelled in bus during school trips –from RDSO to Gomti Nagar or LDA, which was at max 15 KM[only Lucknowites and my schoolmates would would ever know what I meant :-P]- or while going to Kanpur from Lucknow –which is 80 KM and bus takes 2 hours maximum to reach there. Apart from it, I’ve never travelled in bus. But I’d heard a lot about “bus-sickness” and how people tend to get puky and all. Interestingly, I didn’t have any of these. I was just getting irritated and frustrated with each passing second. Not because of the bus or distance or something like this. But because of the kind of people coming and going and sitting next to me. This might sound a little harsh to some of you, but I just can’t tolerate village people. Please don’t judge me! And particularly the kind of smell they carry with themselves. It’s terrible! And it’s not just about the smell, but their entire outlook, thinking, behavior, way of talking and everything else. This doesn’t mean I haven’t seen a village or lived there. I’ve done all that. More than any normal urban male. But as much I as I hate them, my destiny keep on bringing me more and more close to them 😦

Second kinds of people I don’t like are Maddus. I loathe them. And here, during my training in Saharanpur, I’ve again to live with a maddu. How ironical is that! Oh, by the way… by Maddu I mean typical south Indians. And this maddu, with whom I’m stuck is, can’t even speak English… leave alone Hindi!

But as they say [Maroon 5, precisely] – It’s not always rainbows and butterflies it’s compromise that moves us along. Almost entire of my past 21 years, I’ve been doing exactly that. Guess it’s time for someone higher up to listen there and let others follow this quipping instead of me. I’d really be thankful to Him.

*****

I heard this song for the first time almost a year ago… most probably at VC with Her. Incidentally I found it again on LAN sometime during last month –in a folder named ‘all time college classics’- and ever since this song is stuck in my head. I don’t know why, but I can really relate to this song deeply… although nothing of this sort has ever happened to me before. Go and find out for yourself from here, the song is ‘Living next door to Alice’ by Smokie.

******

I’m not too well presently, this change is weather has taken it’s toll on my throat. It’s aching like hell. 😦 And now it’s been two days of consecutive bunk at my training. I just don’t feel like going there anymore. I don’t know what am I gonna show to people when I come back in July! Right now, my life is pretty smooth except for the sulking loneliness. The phone again has gone into aestivation. [No, not ‘hibernation’ coz thats winter time inactivity :-D] I’m also discovering -for the very first time- the advantages of having a camera phone with music 24×7 with me. The bad part is that the phone is not mine, and I think I’m gonna miss it when I’ll return it back to it’s rightful owner 😦

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12th May ’08

All alone in a city where I’ve never been before. I still don’t know its geographical bearing. But that’s not important. The important thing is that this post is written in a hotel room. People do God-knows-what-not-s in hotel rooms, and I ended up writing this post. A little off the track- I’m also watching this IPL match between Royal Challenger’s Bangalore and Punjab Kings XI. RCB, to my disappointment, haven’t done well so far. I like RCB because two of my cricketing idols –Anil Kumble and Rahul Dravid- are in it. Anyway, let’s move on.

This is my second day here. Some might wonder [if they care, that is] why is it coming on the second day? Why not the first? Yesterday, I was too busy feeling all lonely. I haven’t been this solitary before. I did forget how my own voice sounded! To make things worse, I was getting near desperate to tell all my first-day-experiences of Saharanpur, how I feel about the city, about its people, about its chicks 😉 I must say, Saharanpur hasn’t disappointed me much. It’s larger, and more advanced than I anticipated it to be. I wanted to tell this all; to someone.

And ironically, it’s not Her. How the hell it can be Her when we barely speak? She isn’t even aware of my whereabouts, but She is! She is the only one who knows about Her. She is the one whom I’ve become used to tell everything, in last 6-7 months or so. Every minutest of details of my daily mundane life, ranging from which eating place I find expensive to what I think of Gul Panag to what she thinks of Imraan Khan 😉 To be brutally honest, I’m missing her the most right now! More aptly, I’m missing talking to her. I wish I had internet right now. I even tried finding some nearby wireless networks, none is here! 😦

It is very very recent that I’ve realized I miss her. It happened for the first time when I saw the trailer of Jaane Tu… ya jaane na on TV. Shortly afterwards, my sis told me about the cute song in Juno, which was the last thing I saw on my scrapbook before living for here. And then there were all those innumerable songs which she told me listen to. Yesterday, I listened to all of them once again. Time is running out by Muse, Hello by Lionel Richie and This Love by Maroon 5 stood out blatantly among the rest. Passive by A Perfect Circle wasn’t still available in better format. Only thing left is that I’m yet to see 27 Dresses and appreciate bollywood-like songs of Enchanted [which, by the way, I just can’t :-P]

I pretty much know her reaction after reading this. So I won’t say much now. Err… I’m afraid I think I already did!

Woteva, Don’t Challenge [:-X] 😀 

*******

I don’t know when this post would get posted on blog. This is such a dingy place, I’ve been searching for some cyber café sort of thingy for past 2 days and I haven’t succeeded yet!

Right now, I think I’m going to undergo worst training experience ever. I’m some 500 KM away from home, I’ve got no place to live here, they’re not giving me any stipend and I’m spending almost 500 buck daily. I want to go back to Delhi L

******

I just came to know that I’ve been tagged. As an ethical blogger, it’s my social and moral responsibility to reply to the tag, no matter how busy I am. And I’ll do that, but not right now. I don’t feel like doing so.

******

Aside[I’m supposed to be in the factory workshop right now, observing and preparing my training reports.. Whatever!]

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Zendagi Migzara

Have you ever wondered why a certain thing (movie, book anything) is liked by majority and yet you’ve no clue what the fuck is it about. Then one fine day, you just decide that you’ll just watch/read/feel it to know what is it that gives the junta such a high. And bang! There you’re, cursing yourself in the long run, that why didn’t you do it earlier. Sometimes, going with the flow, being in the crowd and not out of it isn’t as bad as it may sound. I’ve experienced this innumerable number of times, and am still continuing doing so. The latest case being of Roadies 5.0 and The Kite Runner.

I always knew ‘The Kite Runner’ is a book definitely worth reading and more, but somehow I wasn’t able to jugadofy it from anywhere. But once I laid my hands on it, I made sure I finish it as soon as possible. 8 hours isn’t too long a time period, is it? After reading a sufficient numbers of best-sellers, now I can safely discern ’em and others. The narrative description is impeccable. Sentences extremely terse yet dramatically poignant and ostensibly symbolic. I’m already feeling at least 5% Afghani, if nothing else. The plot loosens grip somewhere in the middle, but then Khalid Hossieni becomes even more ferociously captivating.

Ehh.. Who am I kidding? You people must’ve read the book ages ago. Chuck it. I’ll move on.

Roadies 5.0. First thing which comes to my mind after seeing this word is Raghu. Second thing is that why am I not there. And thirdly, all cute girls ain’t scrupulous[yeah, I’m talking about Sambhavi]. Nonetheless, it has made Raghu a celebrity in its’ own distinct manner. The tasks, the politics, the bikes, the girls.. it so very Me! 😦

***

It’s 3 O’ clock in the morning, and I’m yet not feeling sleepy, despite the fact that I’ve to attend class at 8 in the morning. I’m getting a little insomniac. Perhaps, coz I’m not getting as much attention from females as much as I was used to. It’s a complete black out for me these days. But that doesn’t vex me much. My major concern is her. I’m getting this feeling that she has started ignoring me. Not replying to someone’s routine SMSs suggests so.

***

I’ve a lot of academic work to do in coming few days. By the way, yesterday I got my first pay check. I thought the feeling will be overwhelming. But strangely -and sadly- it wasn’t. Probably I’ve no one “special” to share it with. I’d loved to spend my first salary on her -or for that matter, anyone who were my love interest- but unfortunately no one is there to acknowledge it. It wasn’t meant to be, or may be, it was meant not to be. Arguably, one of the best lines I’ve ever come across! No candies for guessing the source 😛

****

This post could very well be attributed to my ongoing drinking spree.

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Oo-Rah!

The one person whom I care won’t wish me. And I will not wish anyone else! This is my V-Day resolution. If the day is gonna be bad for me, let me make it more pathetic. I can’t help, rather I don’t feel like helping. So no V-Day wishes for any one of you this year 😦

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The News

This is what I call news! I switched over to The Hindu very recently.. and before I knew it, my decision was totally right[for a change, coz I’m not actually used to it you see].

Remember some ‘Geetanjali Nagpal’? Yes! That super model of yester years whom drugs annihilated, perhaps suicidally. Whatever! Why do we have to care so much? This was not the only case of drug abuse witnessed. And there are still zillions of acute despondent people, living in all the more acute penury. Why do news-paperwallahs bring that into forefront, if they so much want to do the social work. Just cheap, desperate and probably “glamorous” publicity stunt.

Compare that to this. One of finest avant-garde our country has ever produced, was awarded ‘Life Time Achievement Award’ at the age of 97.. and how many cameras were flashing blinding light? Possibly, just one! And hence I got the pic, and hence you’re reading. There are very very few things published in newspapers which strike a cord really deep down, and that too instantaneously! This was definitely the one for me.

I’ll not say much. Rather you’ve to comment much, or say, or at the least think.

***

Why do people with initials ‘SR’ keep on repudiating me? 😦

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Current Affair

I believe now the “New Year” is over. I can safely be a little cynical about it now [not that I couldn’t have been earlier, nevertheless]. I like even semesters, just because of the fact that in this semester, you can greet anyone under the sun instantaneously by wishing him new year. Crap! That’s the only good use of new year. So why do we have to create so much fuss about it? As I must have mentioned this a million times before as well.. my last 3 31^st December nights have been in train, and they weren’t bad either. The train wasn’t running empty on account of last night of the year. Neither the passengers were lamenting. Nothing. It was just another journey in train, no different than so many others of which I’ve already been a part of. But when I tell this to people.. they start empathizing with me as if something so dire and harsh have happened to me. Relax people, its just 31^st of December, not 30^th of February which will come once in 100 years, rather it comes every year.

***

People, things around me have been changing off late. Rather drastically, and pretty swiftly. Suddenly everyone is getting so serious about careers and all. And I’m scared. Hell scared! Most notorious of people around me have already joined coaching for CAT. I’m in a fix. I need some unbiased and truly professional advice now, corresponding to my present condition. But I know no one in vicinity who’ll be able to do so.

***

Most common complement which I’m getting these days is that my voice is getting better, more masculine, sexy(for some people, over phone). I’m loving it 😛

***

Why did I even think of writing this post? :-O

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R.Dravid c.&b. BCCI

Sunil Gavaskar once said, that there is no cricket team in the world in which Dravid won’t be included. Pakistan coach Javed Miandad said, that Pakistan only lacks to two thing-Madhuri Dixit and Rahul Dravid. And that very Rahul Dravid is not in the team anymore! Are our selectors insane? Keeping Sachin and Ganguly does make a lot of sense, after all, how many matches they have won for India.. but more important is how many tests have they saved? You just cant keep a player of class of him out of the team, be it on account of bad form, or politics or whatever!

Agreed, that the new crop is pretty good, all of ’em are brimming with confidence and alacrity. But we’re not considering the most crucial test herein, none of them had withstood the test of time. Can anyone of you tell me, where are Dinesh Mongia, Hemang Badani, Hrishikesh Kanitkar(match winner against Pakistan in the finals of Independence Cup 1998), Vijay Bhardwaj(Man of the Series in his debut tour to Kenya in Nairobi Cup), Iqbal Siddiqui(aka the next Kapil Dev), Amay Khurasia(opener during ’99 world cup), Akash Chopra(unprecedented success during Australian tour).. and they were just batsmen. India has always been on look out for a quality pacer since Sreenath, so we would not discuss the plight of plethora of Bowlers of any genre here.

A very recent add on to this list would be Sehwag and Kaif, I believe. God forbid, but this could very well be the case with Uthappa, Gambhir or any other member of the winning team of Twenty20 world cup. Dravid has been through all, by all.. I really mean all! He made test debut in ’96, alongside Ganguly, and was at once installed permanently in the test team. But it took him 4 years of toil to cater to the needs of ODIs. How many people in world cricket have that kind of temperament to change their technique so drastically.. notwithstanding his determination alone. Leaving out Sachin is always justified technically, coz I always believed there is absolutely no comparison between him and Dravid. They are a league apart. Sachin is more like a show-piece nowadays, he had always been the cynosure of mob. He is only best when he is at his best, which is a rare and most unlikely thing to happen. Dravid, on the other hand has always been the subdued backbone of the team. Somehow his moments of glory were always overshadowed by other’s greater feats. Be it Laxman with his knock of 281, Ganuly with his knock of 183 or Sachin at 189 not out. One common factor to all these seemingly disparate innings was Dravid with 154, 145* and 153 respectively. He was the guy around which other big boys built their fortunes. And he was coolly in the shadows, but he never cribbed.. no big words by him, just bigger and bigger innings.

Speaking about record books, he is the only batsman to have been in partner with two biggest partnership in ODIs- 318 with Ganguly and 331 with Sachin. He hold the record of fastest 50 by an Indian Batsmen, of 20 balls. He was the only successful batsmen of the otherwise forgettable tour of South Africa in ’97, hitting Alan Donald for two consecutive straight sixes. All this by the batsmen who once wasn’t considered fit for One Day cricket, and He prooved all of them wrong, with nonchalant elan. He has scored more double centuries in tests than legendary Gavaskar. His average in both forms of the game has been right at top. His only rival in test-average being Ponting, no one even close enough to bother. Statistics, as in the words of Mr. Sidhu (the talking surd) are like bikinis, revealing everything but hiding the most important. They do not tell us under what circumstances, against whom have the big guns being smashing records. Upon acute vivisection of all his innings, things would be even more crystal clear. Not to mention, He is the only batsmen after Steve Waugh to score a century against every test playing nation of his time( which are ten, to be precise) and the only batsman of all time to to score a century in every test playing nation. Howzzat? Do we still need reasons for him being in the team?

I must say, I’ve never been devastated more than any decision of BCCI than this one. The selectors are much better than me in every aspect, I know.. then how can they even think of doing something like this? Lets be frank, Sachin and Ganguly are in twilight of their magnificent careers, but not Dravid. Batsmen of his class get more mature, and consequently more lethal and indispensable. Classic examples are Gavaskar, Border, Boon, Getting, Rice, Lloyd and ofcourse Bradman. Can Brazil play against Argentina with Ronaldinho out? Could Australia face England without Ponting? Then how can India imagine themselves playing against Pakistan without Dravid? Dravid is sine qua non for Team India, irrespective of rare bad patch. Get him back guys. Against the kind of quality fast bowling of Pakistan, we stand no where without him.

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Sweet Child of Mine?

Here is the post I was talking about. Firstly, no child is sweet.. so I suppose you got the satire(in case you haven’t, yet). Secondly, this post is originally dated of 17 Oct’o7. Thats pretty much it! So here We go…

I hate kids. The ones between 3 and 7, with a tolerance of a couple of years more on either side. I know that they sweet and cute et al, but if you’d look with a little more masculine eyesight, you’d get what I really mean here.

I’ve had some terrible experiences with them from the time of yore, more aptly, I never had any good experience with them till date. There were a few kids whom I used to like (precisely, there has been only two of this kind) but then I realized, this is not me, I just can’t like kids in any format.. oh sorry, I meant form! There are too many reasons to mention for this antipathy, some frivolous, some equally genuine. The primer being that I am not good with them; kids do get terrified by me somehow! Especially the males (So far, so Good) but the case is a little different with females-mind you, just a little, not comfortingly much, sadly- in the long run they do understand me in the right spirit.

This post can be attributed to some of my torturous interactions with kids in AC compartment of trains running in between Delhi and Lucknow. Most recent one is of today, and couple of days before.

I was in the chair-car cabin. C-2, seat no. 44 and 45, with one of my friend (whose thoughts in this regard fairly go hand in hand with mine). Our front seat, back seat, side one and the two diagonally side ones.. all had at least one child each. Two of them bore 3 children each! Horrible! And to worsen the matters, in all, these were the only hell makers for the entire cabin.. deliberately seated within irking ranges from us.

All the weird activities of children, which their parents somehow find very adorable, completely beat me. We were watching Friends and this kid, from our behind, like an apparition, stood in between us, each hand on our mortal heads.. like bitches in prison. Then there was the other one, who desperately wanted our only pack of Parle-G and who, even after having the entire pack all by himself, wasn’t fully content and demanded some more when the train was going at some 70-80 mph (Yeah, the train was kind of “Superfast”, to put in railway-walla terminology). And the kid, right ahead of us, was a mere baby –mind you, just Technically- otherwise he wasn’t inferior to his(or her, whatever!) other contemporaries. It had a very high-pitched loudspeaker installed in it’s larynx. No candies for guessing why my head was going whirlpool just after 2 hours in train (and journey lasted for full 8 hours and 47 minutes! Yeah, I counted each second of it, I ought to; had no other choice).

Moreover, I’ve some chronic troubles with respect to most atomic kid’s stuff. Like I’m never able to differentiate between two of them; to me, all of them look annoyingly the same! And then, I can never tell with surety of their gender, unless.. you know ;-). I do like the smell of their Johnson & Johnson’ Baby Powder. But thats all I like about them.

I’ve heard that one can coin terms, provided that they are semantically and syntactically and etymologically correct. So here is some food for thought –I’m Paedophobic. Howzzat? 😉

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Perhaps Insipartional, or Whatever!

A miss is as good as a mile.

 

I’ve been cribbing badly to scribble here for quite a while now, but as you know, the net here is pathetic (I’ve mentioned it a million times before as well); and hence I was unable to do so. Moreover, somebody chided me yesterday of squandering my time away and me becoming so unblogger like(Which I’m, nevertheless). But the original post which I’ve been wanting to write is not this one. I’m writing this one just for the heck of writing it.

 

Now something about the quote.

Out of the blue moon, this propped in my head today morning. By the way, I woke up pretty early today, at 6:30, and strangely enough.. I didn’t feel dizzy thereafter -just a hangover of 5 day long weekend- you really can’t blame me for it!

I do have a special relationship with this quote; this reminded me of all the sweet and really productive time I have had during my 10^th board preparation. It took me back to my old house, to that bookmark on which it was written, to all those thoughts and memories I had then. How important to me boards result was then, even though I was fully aware of it’s futility at the same time. But I used to convince myself that this is equally a lame alibi to runaway from all the hard work et al. But I also knew, 10 years down the line, no body -including Me- would give a tiny rats ass as to what did I do in my tenth boards! This made me so much calm in my mind, and gave me so much solace. No wonder, I didn’t feel drowsy at all thereafter!

And yet, I was late for my 8AM class today, and that too, astronomically.. by almost 25 minutes! In an hour long lecture! Don’t you smirk. Agreed, that I take a whole lot more time in getting ready than my peers(male peers, to be more specific 😉 ) Then I’ve to eat equally leisurly as well. Lets accept this guys, I can never be on time in that class! 😦

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