October Onus

People have been wanting me to write. It feels good. Obviously it does! Even I’ve been wanting to write for quite some time now, but something or the other kept springing up. Then, there were times when I didn’t feel like writing. Anyway, let’s move on.
About the title- Ever since August 2006, I’ve written here every month. So this is a ritual, which has to be performed at least once in a month. I’m in no mood to break the chain right now. Oh, and by the way, this blog will soon get another author. The due delivery date is [tentatively] any day after 4th of November in this year. We’re waiting anxiously!
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I don’t like this time of the year. It’s not exactly cold, neither it’s hot. It’s somewhere in between. Over the past few days, I’ve learned that I like things in black and white. I really don’t see the point of being diplomatic as far as issues are concerned. Although, with people, it’s totally the other way round! Besides, people do appreciate if you’ve got an unequivocal standing [on issues]. It is of little significance then if your viewpoint doesn’t overlap with theirs.  Moreover, it also makes you an interesting conversationalist! Figure out how…
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And here is the reason why I don’t like this time of the year even more. It’s at this time that I realize my attendance is falling short in almost every course. I’ve to collect all my will power and determination to wake up at 7 then. The worst part is, that I can’t take a bath in the morning coz it’s too cold for that. And I don’t like getting out of hostel without showering. I also can’t bathe in morning. That implies- I can’t get out in morning. Hence, it becomes a vicious circle! Can I be accused for short attendance then? But I’m pretty sure; none of you has ever faced a problem of this kind. Now I’m thinking that [probably] I should change the name of the blog to “TheOnlyOne” 😛 Or does “SuiGeneris” sounds better? Shall we poll for it? [Wordpress has introduced this feature very recently 😀 ]
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‘Kuch Kam’ from the [supposedly gay] movie Dostana is all I’ve been listening to from past 3 days! I don’t know whether to thank her or not. I want to hear to something else, but I just keep coming back to it after every few songs. There is something wrong with me. Or is it with the song? :-O
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Have you ever watched any play twice? Back to Back? With two of the world’s most beautiful women alongside? It’s absolutely worth it! 😉
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5 Things I learned today

1. Never ever send a message sans your name, in case your number is changed.

2. Don’t use people unless you know them well. Make friendship first. Then ask for favour. Not the other way round. The Godfather Style, is very applicable even in today’s world.. and not just occidentally, but indigenously as well.

3. Use your authority on those whom you have the right. And this right is cultivated over a long period of time, acquaintance and friendship. Not just in a day or two.

4. If you’re using someone else’s computer in his/her room, the decent thing to do is to vacate his/her chair when the concerned person returns.

5. Don’t compare yourself with others irrationaly. Sab aisa hi kar rahe hai, doesn’t work. You’re not anyone else, but You. The circumstances, the temperament, line of thought, the attitude, the approach.. these all are different for different people. Hence, using the aforementioned as maxim, time and again makes you look outrageously stupid.

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I only own my Mind

For Once (again), I’m going to write just for the sake of writing. In the last 15 days, I’ve done nothing. Absolutely nothing! Except, of course, interneting. I’ve explored Facebook a lot. The games there are more than addictive. Then, they tell you all about your personality- things which you already know, things which you didn’t know and things which you’ll never know. And as of now -even though as unfortunately pathetic as it may seem- I’m hooked to all of them pretty badly.

The word ‘addiction’ reminds me of Cigarettes. For those who don’t know, I’ve been smoking for a year now. And still, I’m not addicted to it. I’ve heard all the horrendous stories about smoking, and I’m aware of all the consequences. But I don’t find anything wrong in 3-4 cigarettes in a day, coz I’ve seen people finishing 2-3 packs in a day (which is 40 cigarettes, for all you non-smokers). This doesn’t mean that I’m justifying myself. Smoking is injurious to health invariably. My solace is that I know I can quit smoking whenever I want to. But the fact is, right now I don’t want to. When you have nothing to do, a cigarette is the best way to kill time. It gives you psychological effect of relaxation. [Which it so does not]. Interestingly, my academic performance has been getting better since I’ve been smoking. [Again, I know smoking has got nothing to do with it, I just like boasting around this fact 😛 ]. And I blame absolutely no one for my starting of smoking. Nobody forced me. It was my whim to try it out. I don’t like people accusing others for their bad habits. Yes, this is one of my innumerable bad habits. But it hasn’t turned so bad that I regret it. And it never would, touchwood! I’ll quit smoking the day I’ll feel it is enough. Like I quit flirting 😉 .. And if she’ll insist!

This was so not what I envisaged writing myself. But what is written is written.

I’ve been listening to quite a few new (for me, that is) songs and bands of late. Foremost amongst them are Led Zeppelin, AC/DC, Pearl Jam and Metallica.

Led Zeppelin were the precursors to bands like GNR, Aerosmith, Metallica.. And I can see why. Achilles last stand, Battle of Evermore, Whole outta love, Kashmir are definitely worth listening of theirs. Of course, Stairway to Heaven has always been there.

I always wanted to be a die-hard fan of AC/DC. Their tees, posters are damn so cool. Now I see myself becoming one. Back in Black, Highway to Hell, Jailbreak, Hell’s Bells is what I’ve listened of them so far. There will be more of them in coming days, definitely.

There is something about Pearl Jam (and for that matter, Nirvana -Kurt Cobain- too). Their music is addictive. Like anything. I just have listened to I am Mine, and I’m already their fan. Sometimes, just one song is more than enough to realize this. Jeremy, Black, Evenflow, Indifference are still left.

Ehh.. Metallica! When I tell people I listened to rock, and then I tell I haven’t heard Metallica yet.. You should see the look on their faces! They gimme the look like- ‘What is rock apart from Metallica and Linkin Park’? (Sadly, for most people, ‘rock’ is confined to LP and Metallica). I’ve started Metallica just for the sake of people. And now that I have, I know what people have been talking about all this while. Similar to my previous experiences with F.R.I.E.N.D.S, LOTR, Godfather et al. Turn the Page has been outstanding track for me so far. Fade to Black, Master of Puppets, One, Outlaw Torn, Nothing Else Matters, Enter Sandman are also there, apart from that. But I don’t like their kind of lyrics (and LP’s too). It’s too depressing and filled with rage.

Just for the records, GnR has been my most preferred band for quite some time now. And it would be! But I don’t know how much loyalty will I be able to show to their latest album [Chinese Democracy, which has been in making for last 14 years now, and 9 of whose tracks reportedly leaked out before the official release of album which is scheduled in this  July-August. They were on YouTube too.. but now they have been removed], mostly because Slash isn’t there anymore.

Sometimes I think, I just show off too much. Like right now. Did I really need to write all this here? We’ll never know! 🙂

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The traffic on my blog has returned to previous numbers, like it used to be. 10-15 visits a day, that is. I don’t like it, but it doesn’t bother me much either. I don’t take my blogging so seriously now. I guess I never did. By the way, check these comic strips out. I think they’re the latest buzz around. I thank Nidhi for introducing them to me.

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Finickiness- At it’s Best!

First things of everything are special. We might not remember our first train journey, but most of us do remember our first aero plane journey. And we do tell about it fondly and proudly and perhaps interestingly, or so we try. But first bus voyage? Is it even something worth mentioning during quotidian banter? Leave alone the interesting part! How the hell it can possibly be special for anyone?

I’ve partly negative, but mostly affirmative answer to each of these. Let’s begin from the beginning.

Now this might be astounding to some people, but this was my first [or probably second-third] experience in the bus. I’ve only travelled in bus during school trips –from RDSO to Gomti Nagar or LDA, which was at max 15 KM[only Lucknowites and my schoolmates would would ever know what I meant :-P]- or while going to Kanpur from Lucknow –which is 80 KM and bus takes 2 hours maximum to reach there. Apart from it, I’ve never travelled in bus. But I’d heard a lot about “bus-sickness” and how people tend to get puky and all. Interestingly, I didn’t have any of these. I was just getting irritated and frustrated with each passing second. Not because of the bus or distance or something like this. But because of the kind of people coming and going and sitting next to me. This might sound a little harsh to some of you, but I just can’t tolerate village people. Please don’t judge me! And particularly the kind of smell they carry with themselves. It’s terrible! And it’s not just about the smell, but their entire outlook, thinking, behavior, way of talking and everything else. This doesn’t mean I haven’t seen a village or lived there. I’ve done all that. More than any normal urban male. But as much I as I hate them, my destiny keep on bringing me more and more close to them 😦

Second kinds of people I don’t like are Maddus. I loathe them. And here, during my training in Saharanpur, I’ve again to live with a maddu. How ironical is that! Oh, by the way… by Maddu I mean typical south Indians. And this maddu, with whom I’m stuck is, can’t even speak English… leave alone Hindi!

But as they say [Maroon 5, precisely] – It’s not always rainbows and butterflies it’s compromise that moves us along. Almost entire of my past 21 years, I’ve been doing exactly that. Guess it’s time for someone higher up to listen there and let others follow this quipping instead of me. I’d really be thankful to Him.

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I heard this song for the first time almost a year ago… most probably at VC with Her. Incidentally I found it again on LAN sometime during last month –in a folder named ‘all time college classics’- and ever since this song is stuck in my head. I don’t know why, but I can really relate to this song deeply… although nothing of this sort has ever happened to me before. Go and find out for yourself from here, the song is ‘Living next door to Alice’ by Smokie.

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I’m not too well presently, this change is weather has taken it’s toll on my throat. It’s aching like hell. 😦 And now it’s been two days of consecutive bunk at my training. I just don’t feel like going there anymore. I don’t know what am I gonna show to people when I come back in July! Right now, my life is pretty smooth except for the sulking loneliness. The phone again has gone into aestivation. [No, not ‘hibernation’ coz thats winter time inactivity :-D] I’m also discovering -for the very first time- the advantages of having a camera phone with music 24×7 with me. The bad part is that the phone is not mine, and I think I’m gonna miss it when I’ll return it back to it’s rightful owner 😦

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12th May ’08

All alone in a city where I’ve never been before. I still don’t know its geographical bearing. But that’s not important. The important thing is that this post is written in a hotel room. People do God-knows-what-not-s in hotel rooms, and I ended up writing this post. A little off the track- I’m also watching this IPL match between Royal Challenger’s Bangalore and Punjab Kings XI. RCB, to my disappointment, haven’t done well so far. I like RCB because two of my cricketing idols –Anil Kumble and Rahul Dravid- are in it. Anyway, let’s move on.

This is my second day here. Some might wonder [if they care, that is] why is it coming on the second day? Why not the first? Yesterday, I was too busy feeling all lonely. I haven’t been this solitary before. I did forget how my own voice sounded! To make things worse, I was getting near desperate to tell all my first-day-experiences of Saharanpur, how I feel about the city, about its people, about its chicks 😉 I must say, Saharanpur hasn’t disappointed me much. It’s larger, and more advanced than I anticipated it to be. I wanted to tell this all; to someone.

And ironically, it’s not Her. How the hell it can be Her when we barely speak? She isn’t even aware of my whereabouts, but She is! She is the only one who knows about Her. She is the one whom I’ve become used to tell everything, in last 6-7 months or so. Every minutest of details of my daily mundane life, ranging from which eating place I find expensive to what I think of Gul Panag to what she thinks of Imraan Khan 😉 To be brutally honest, I’m missing her the most right now! More aptly, I’m missing talking to her. I wish I had internet right now. I even tried finding some nearby wireless networks, none is here! 😦

It is very very recent that I’ve realized I miss her. It happened for the first time when I saw the trailer of Jaane Tu… ya jaane na on TV. Shortly afterwards, my sis told me about the cute song in Juno, which was the last thing I saw on my scrapbook before living for here. And then there were all those innumerable songs which she told me listen to. Yesterday, I listened to all of them once again. Time is running out by Muse, Hello by Lionel Richie and This Love by Maroon 5 stood out blatantly among the rest. Passive by A Perfect Circle wasn’t still available in better format. Only thing left is that I’m yet to see 27 Dresses and appreciate bollywood-like songs of Enchanted [which, by the way, I just can’t :-P]

I pretty much know her reaction after reading this. So I won’t say much now. Err… I’m afraid I think I already did!

Woteva, Don’t Challenge [:-X] 😀 

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I don’t know when this post would get posted on blog. This is such a dingy place, I’ve been searching for some cyber café sort of thingy for past 2 days and I haven’t succeeded yet!

Right now, I think I’m going to undergo worst training experience ever. I’m some 500 KM away from home, I’ve got no place to live here, they’re not giving me any stipend and I’m spending almost 500 buck daily. I want to go back to Delhi L

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I just came to know that I’ve been tagged. As an ethical blogger, it’s my social and moral responsibility to reply to the tag, no matter how busy I am. And I’ll do that, but not right now. I don’t feel like doing so.

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Aside[I’m supposed to be in the factory workshop right now, observing and preparing my training reports.. Whatever!]

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Happy B’day!

Today is this Blog’s second birthday. A Very Happy Birthday to it. And I hope this brings some good luck to me. Majors commencing from today too. C ya guys later!

[Just for the records, this post is written -and published- two hours before the exam begins 🙂 ]

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Zendagi Migzara

Have you ever wondered why a certain thing (movie, book anything) is liked by majority and yet you’ve no clue what the fuck is it about. Then one fine day, you just decide that you’ll just watch/read/feel it to know what is it that gives the junta such a high. And bang! There you’re, cursing yourself in the long run, that why didn’t you do it earlier. Sometimes, going with the flow, being in the crowd and not out of it isn’t as bad as it may sound. I’ve experienced this innumerable number of times, and am still continuing doing so. The latest case being of Roadies 5.0 and The Kite Runner.

I always knew ‘The Kite Runner’ is a book definitely worth reading and more, but somehow I wasn’t able to jugadofy it from anywhere. But once I laid my hands on it, I made sure I finish it as soon as possible. 8 hours isn’t too long a time period, is it? After reading a sufficient numbers of best-sellers, now I can safely discern ’em and others. The narrative description is impeccable. Sentences extremely terse yet dramatically poignant and ostensibly symbolic. I’m already feeling at least 5% Afghani, if nothing else. The plot loosens grip somewhere in the middle, but then Khalid Hossieni becomes even more ferociously captivating.

Ehh.. Who am I kidding? You people must’ve read the book ages ago. Chuck it. I’ll move on.

Roadies 5.0. First thing which comes to my mind after seeing this word is Raghu. Second thing is that why am I not there. And thirdly, all cute girls ain’t scrupulous[yeah, I’m talking about Sambhavi]. Nonetheless, it has made Raghu a celebrity in its’ own distinct manner. The tasks, the politics, the bikes, the girls.. it so very Me! 😦

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It’s 3 O’ clock in the morning, and I’m yet not feeling sleepy, despite the fact that I’ve to attend class at 8 in the morning. I’m getting a little insomniac. Perhaps, coz I’m not getting as much attention from females as much as I was used to. It’s a complete black out for me these days. But that doesn’t vex me much. My major concern is her. I’m getting this feeling that she has started ignoring me. Not replying to someone’s routine SMSs suggests so.

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I’ve a lot of academic work to do in coming few days. By the way, yesterday I got my first pay check. I thought the feeling will be overwhelming. But strangely -and sadly- it wasn’t. Probably I’ve no one “special” to share it with. I’d loved to spend my first salary on her -or for that matter, anyone who were my love interest- but unfortunately no one is there to acknowledge it. It wasn’t meant to be, or may be, it was meant not to be. Arguably, one of the best lines I’ve ever come across! No candies for guessing the source 😛

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This post could very well be attributed to my ongoing drinking spree.

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Oo-Rah!

The one person whom I care won’t wish me. And I will not wish anyone else! This is my V-Day resolution. If the day is gonna be bad for me, let me make it more pathetic. I can’t help, rather I don’t feel like helping. So no V-Day wishes for any one of you this year 😦

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Current Affair

I believe now the “New Year” is over. I can safely be a little cynical about it now [not that I couldn’t have been earlier, nevertheless]. I like even semesters, just because of the fact that in this semester, you can greet anyone under the sun instantaneously by wishing him new year. Crap! That’s the only good use of new year. So why do we have to create so much fuss about it? As I must have mentioned this a million times before as well.. my last 3 31^st December nights have been in train, and they weren’t bad either. The train wasn’t running empty on account of last night of the year. Neither the passengers were lamenting. Nothing. It was just another journey in train, no different than so many others of which I’ve already been a part of. But when I tell this to people.. they start empathizing with me as if something so dire and harsh have happened to me. Relax people, its just 31^st of December, not 30^th of February which will come once in 100 years, rather it comes every year.

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People, things around me have been changing off late. Rather drastically, and pretty swiftly. Suddenly everyone is getting so serious about careers and all. And I’m scared. Hell scared! Most notorious of people around me have already joined coaching for CAT. I’m in a fix. I need some unbiased and truly professional advice now, corresponding to my present condition. But I know no one in vicinity who’ll be able to do so.

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Most common complement which I’m getting these days is that my voice is getting better, more masculine, sexy(for some people, over phone). I’m loving it 😛

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Why did I even think of writing this post? :-O

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Sweet Child of Mine?

Here is the post I was talking about. Firstly, no child is sweet.. so I suppose you got the satire(in case you haven’t, yet). Secondly, this post is originally dated of 17 Oct’o7. Thats pretty much it! So here We go…

I hate kids. The ones between 3 and 7, with a tolerance of a couple of years more on either side. I know that they sweet and cute et al, but if you’d look with a little more masculine eyesight, you’d get what I really mean here.

I’ve had some terrible experiences with them from the time of yore, more aptly, I never had any good experience with them till date. There were a few kids whom I used to like (precisely, there has been only two of this kind) but then I realized, this is not me, I just can’t like kids in any format.. oh sorry, I meant form! There are too many reasons to mention for this antipathy, some frivolous, some equally genuine. The primer being that I am not good with them; kids do get terrified by me somehow! Especially the males (So far, so Good) but the case is a little different with females-mind you, just a little, not comfortingly much, sadly- in the long run they do understand me in the right spirit.

This post can be attributed to some of my torturous interactions with kids in AC compartment of trains running in between Delhi and Lucknow. Most recent one is of today, and couple of days before.

I was in the chair-car cabin. C-2, seat no. 44 and 45, with one of my friend (whose thoughts in this regard fairly go hand in hand with mine). Our front seat, back seat, side one and the two diagonally side ones.. all had at least one child each. Two of them bore 3 children each! Horrible! And to worsen the matters, in all, these were the only hell makers for the entire cabin.. deliberately seated within irking ranges from us.

All the weird activities of children, which their parents somehow find very adorable, completely beat me. We were watching Friends and this kid, from our behind, like an apparition, stood in between us, each hand on our mortal heads.. like bitches in prison. Then there was the other one, who desperately wanted our only pack of Parle-G and who, even after having the entire pack all by himself, wasn’t fully content and demanded some more when the train was going at some 70-80 mph (Yeah, the train was kind of “Superfast”, to put in railway-walla terminology). And the kid, right ahead of us, was a mere baby –mind you, just Technically- otherwise he wasn’t inferior to his(or her, whatever!) other contemporaries. It had a very high-pitched loudspeaker installed in it’s larynx. No candies for guessing why my head was going whirlpool just after 2 hours in train (and journey lasted for full 8 hours and 47 minutes! Yeah, I counted each second of it, I ought to; had no other choice).

Moreover, I’ve some chronic troubles with respect to most atomic kid’s stuff. Like I’m never able to differentiate between two of them; to me, all of them look annoyingly the same! And then, I can never tell with surety of their gender, unless.. you know ;-). I do like the smell of their Johnson & Johnson’ Baby Powder. But thats all I like about them.

I’ve heard that one can coin terms, provided that they are semantically and syntactically and etymologically correct. So here is some food for thought –I’m Paedophobic. Howzzat? 😉

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Perhaps Insipartional, or Whatever!

A miss is as good as a mile.

 

I’ve been cribbing badly to scribble here for quite a while now, but as you know, the net here is pathetic (I’ve mentioned it a million times before as well); and hence I was unable to do so. Moreover, somebody chided me yesterday of squandering my time away and me becoming so unblogger like(Which I’m, nevertheless). But the original post which I’ve been wanting to write is not this one. I’m writing this one just for the heck of writing it.

 

Now something about the quote.

Out of the blue moon, this propped in my head today morning. By the way, I woke up pretty early today, at 6:30, and strangely enough.. I didn’t feel dizzy thereafter -just a hangover of 5 day long weekend- you really can’t blame me for it!

I do have a special relationship with this quote; this reminded me of all the sweet and really productive time I have had during my 10^th board preparation. It took me back to my old house, to that bookmark on which it was written, to all those thoughts and memories I had then. How important to me boards result was then, even though I was fully aware of it’s futility at the same time. But I used to convince myself that this is equally a lame alibi to runaway from all the hard work et al. But I also knew, 10 years down the line, no body -including Me- would give a tiny rats ass as to what did I do in my tenth boards! This made me so much calm in my mind, and gave me so much solace. No wonder, I didn’t feel drowsy at all thereafter!

And yet, I was late for my 8AM class today, and that too, astronomically.. by almost 25 minutes! In an hour long lecture! Don’t you smirk. Agreed, that I take a whole lot more time in getting ready than my peers(male peers, to be more specific 😉 ) Then I’ve to eat equally leisurly as well. Lets accept this guys, I can never be on time in that class! 😦

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An Unusual(Awful) Day.

Its probably one of those days when you feel all so lonely despite having everybody around you. You don’t feel like speaking, socializing with people and get irritated too easily. The emotional vulnerability being consummating. Nothing goes right for you, there is nothing like Luck today. And you get to hear irking things now and then.. all around. And you are already troubled with something which you can’t share with absolutely anybody!
This doesn’t happen to me often[Thankfully] but it has become routine kind of thing on every day when my exams get over. As I’ve already mentioned in one of my previous posts.. the day after exams is so hollow.. with absolutely nothing to do( and dramatically, I don’t even feel drowsy then! 😀 ), and then this solitude creeps in.. breeding depression and I feel like turning ascetic[well.. not literally, metaphorically ;-)]. But this is as frothy as it sounds. The concatenated negative expletives become so perpetual that you feel like doing something more vivacious, more cheerful. But you are just not able to concentrate and you indulge into introspection. You count your blessing, feats.. and you see them as regular and insignificant. There comes jealousy into the picture. You compare, then you compare some more and then you gets depressed even more. Finally you turn to computer to for some solace, succor.. only to find that everyone is too busy for you. Hence, in utter frustration comes this..
P.S-I know the blog is getting too egotistical, and this one was just a very lame attempt to make it sound better.. But the posts-yet-to-come would definitely gonna be Different. 😉

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Little more of Myself

I recently figured out some important traits of mine, of which I had known always that they existed in me.. but never bothered to give a second thought to them even by myself.. and am hell sure neither did others. And the best/worst part is that they doesn’t bother me.. and definitely they doesn’t give me a high, they are the most dormant and stagnant facets of my personality.. and somehow I’ve conceded to them, though I cant recall when this initiated. Now I find myself stuck!

Most obvious of them, to me -and to some very few other people who do happen to know me closely enough or have spend sufficient amount of time with me, don’t know whether anyone of them ever actually noticed it- is that I never speak up on some topic which I think myself virtuoso in at any gathering of more than 4-5 people. I realized this today.. in fact a couple of hours ago.. while having dinner at RHYTHM, mind you.. only ‘dinner’ 😦 . It was after a long time that I went out with so many ‘all-guys’ friends, usually it’s just one .. or at other couple of times 2-3.. generally not more than that coz I believe that if you are out with larger group, their ought to be sub-groups.. coz more than 2-or at most 3- people cant talk sense at the same time! Hence I never liked this idea.. you can label me egregious.. or introvert.. I don’t care. And I really don’t care as far as I know that am not doing anything wrong, criteria of ‘wrong’ being solely my discretion. Anyway, getting back to my point.. the reason is equally weird and as incomprehensible to you as it is to me. Sometimes I think I might be to shy or inarticulate to say my point convincingly, but had that been the case then I wouldn’t have blabbered like.. ever, which surely doesn’t happen with me.I guess I am at my talking-best when I am all alone with that person. Whenever some people are discussing anything and am dead silent.. that can has two, and only two reasons-either I’ve no idea of what crap these people are talking about, or I think those people are too naïve and tyro et al, tersely.. not matching my standard of that particular thing! This might sound a little too uppity a la what the hell do I think of myself kinda thingy.. but that’s how I am. I sure would have been a chameleon in my previous births, coz the way I change my body-language and attitude when I am in a company just one and when I am in company of more than one.. boy! its definitely worth having a look at.. I mean I myself is surprised at times with drastic and almost immediate flippings. Not a schizophrenic, at least this much I can assure. The quintessential case is of being cricket .. at one point of time, like when I was a school going kid, am so sure I had hell lot more knowledge and deep insight of it than my peers and many seniors too.. but whenever it was discussed in free-periods, I glibly walked out of it! Only few of my closest buddies knew how much I knew. And people here(in Delhi) have no idea how very well-versed I am with it’s history and some astounding facts.

I decided to write this post when I was at RHYTHM, as mentioned before.. and one of friends began discussion on how much people spend when they are out with girls.(no offence meant, but he has never been out with any girls yet) And I swiftly receded back to my superiority-air-cocoon.. all blaséd. Life hasn’t been that harsh on me.. 😉

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Empty.. Vacuum

I recently read this article on newspaper regarding the average age when Indians loose their virginity.. it was 22.9 years, and last year in the very same newspaper it was published as 19.8 years.. to be precise. Now which one to believe? I am not complaining about the factual foibles of the news coloumns .. rather, my point is.. Who the hell is this Average Indian? Am I not? Or for that matter.. are my peers not? Why do we always add to the average from wrong sides.. in examination marks from the lower end and here from the higher frustrating end! I feel jealous of delhi boys and girls. 😦

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I’ve been listening to Linkin Park’s new album for quite some time now.. and I must admit, its far below my expectations.. the worse part is that they are not able to come up with something avant-garde this time, like they have been. Their innovation of rock ‘ n rap is quickly loosing its freshness. Moreover, few of the songs sounds the same as before and there is this one song.. (I wont name the song here, better find out yourself which one) which closely resembles the bass-guitar of a U2 track, With or Without You. Having said that, I would still recommend few tracks- Bleed It Out, Valentine’s day, No more sorrows and What I’ve done.

Pretty much the same goes for Enriques’s album. Though it sounds almost the same as before, the songs has got some queer charming aura with them.. especially Ring my Bells, Miss You, Sweet Isabela and Do You Know has already created waves.

I’ve been on lookout for Maroon5’s new album(after ofcourse, listening to She will be loved).. which is still isn’t available on the LAN 😦 .

And yesterday night I downloaded this track Undertow by Pain of Salvation. I had no idea of what genre that band comprises of.. neither I had heard even their name before.. I downloaded the song after reading it on of my senior’s blog -whose musical interests I closely share- and after listening to for almost like 3-4 hours.. I didn’t found anything getting in my head.. so presently I switched over to Yanni.. for some relaxation.

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Saw Face Off, Gone in Sixty Seconds and The fast and The furious-Tokyo Drift. Nicolas Cage is awesome.. and so is John Travolta !

Orkut, Prince of Persia-Two Thrones, and NFS-Most Wanted.. that’s all I’ve been doing in last 10 days .. nothing constructive.. sheer time-killing! I know am gonna regret this pretty soon.. But I don’t have any other option right now.. and hence the verse…

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Life with A Virus

Well.. this time not metaphorically but literally, I’ve been living with a virus in my laptop for over a month now, and strangely enough.. it isn’t lethal. Rather, its just terribly frustrating at times.. like when you are in middle of some interesting conversation and your comp gets restarted, or like when you are among penultimate stage of some game and it gets restarted without automatically saving your progress!

Then one fine day, it dawned on me that there must be some removal tool of this virus on net, and so I searched and got one. Had it been easily removed, then I wouldn’t have been writing this post.. coz the virus didn’t let me download that file. And much later I realized that I cant download any exe file from net. Like today I tried downloading the new web browser launched by Apple named Safari which I did, but en-route downloading it.. Mr. Brontok(the virus in reference) came into the scene again and did what it is supposed to do in these situations. But it had serious consequences.. like it exhausted the upper limit of putty … intelligent me ! I seriously wish I had some time-machine, so that I can undone all such craps which I have done in past 20(well.. almost) years of my life.

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1st June 2007-Continued…

As if my 1^st of June ’07 wasn’t complete by the evening.. the worst was yet to come. In the previous post I mentioned whatever happened till the evening of that day.. here is some more drama from that day… and as people say.. people do enjoy at others ill-fate so does I hope the readers of this blog too, coz its kinda funny as well.. anyway I’d rather let you decide.

I went out for station around 6:30PM , and there were signs that things weren’t gonna be smooth for me… mostly I had this sort of intuition and also coz of the fact that as soon as I boarded the auto, one of my friends called me and said ki uski book mere room mein reh gayi hain and woh jiski hain woh abhi use lene aa raha hain .. but I expressed my inability and thankfully he understood. And en-route to station in the auto I was on sms chat with someone throughout. Amongst all this, I reached the station at 7:10, had enough of time.. or so I thought coz I saw the train’s departure timing as 7:35… good enough! I was at paharganj side and I still wonder why with that kind luggage… I ambled right till the far-end to ajmeri gate side.. may be coz I wanted to figure out the platform no. of the train.. How intelligent of me ehh.. whatever!! But this didn’t help in my purpose.. so I came back platform 1 coz then I thought I’d rather ask enquiry, as the coolies were way too uppity to grant me my innocuous plea. Nearby enquiry, I saw this pretty lady asking about the same train as me with one of the rather amiable senile coolie and I overheard that it was supposed to come at platform 10.. then why to waste my energy in queuing up in front of enquiry office and disturbing that gentleman. So I ran to platform ten once again, more in the hope of seeing that lady in the red than catching the train! But unfortunately couldn’t get her second glimpse again:-(, anyway.. that’s not what the evening is all about!

So I landed up on platform 10 again.. only to find this guy waiting for me, more a like a typical bollywood masala movie, the only difference being that he was but He… Alas!:-( But then, we were supposed to talk, coz we both were undergoing the same torture.. and haplessly enough, the guy was a real cheap.. not at all of my type. The funniest part was soon after he realized that am a English speaking species-which I tried my best not to do in front of him- he too started with it. Thereafter, he spoke his every sentence twice, once in English and then again in hindi.. as if I cant understand English or whatever, doesn’t matter. He accompanied me almost 2 hours, after which I just wanted to get rid of him. And his departing was equally ridiculous. When he found his coach.. eh shook hands with me and said, “was nice meeting you” and in reply I said, ”nice meeting you too” , I generally greet people like this, and I am sure he heard it too despite that he said, “same here toh bol dete yaar” and I was really amazed with the amount of illiteracy prevalent in India among literates !

And then there was more to come, the train finally got cancelled at 10 o’clock.. when I had no other option but to take the auto once again.. with augmented night charges. And then, she called.. before that, papa called and was kind of mad at me… as if it was my fault that the train got cancelled.. which obviously I didn’t like.. and like every other normal human being, I got rid of my frustration at her, which by every standards is wrong .. but then ..I had no other option and I hope she should understand this as well.

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1st June 2007.

This is certainly turning out to be one of the worst day of my life. I am psyched.. I don’t know at whom or with whom, all I know is that I am! Haven’t received a single good news, or even anything which can cheer me up. Yesterday night, before sleeping I’ve never thought in my worst of dreams that this day would turn out to be something like this.

I was supposed to leave for home today.. but my train ticket hasn’t arrived yet.. and train is already 6 hours late and I had a fight kinda thing with someone. I had also promised someone to meet in the noon today which I had to call off at the eleventh hour, and obviously she was upset with it.. but it is truly not my fault.. only if they both can understand this!

And just a couple of minutes before, the caretaker of the hostel told me something which made me even more tensed ! People are always right, troubles ain’t lone. But I always fail to understand.. why the hell is this happening to me? I must have done something terrible to be in this state of mind. All in all, this year hasn’t been good to me yet.. in fact, nothing remotely good has happened to me since I’ve stepped into this place[You-Papa called just now-very well know which place I am talking about.]

Have to make call now…

Haah.. finally some relieve !!

Now I don’t feel like writing anymore, and that’s the worst problem with me.. I just cant write for longer duration of time, as well as space. Ab se .. I suppose I ‘d be writing such little-little articles 😀

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Recently…

I have been wanting to write this post for quite some time now, but somehow I wasn’t getting time to do, but there is nothing new in it. On the other day, I opened wordpress and was just about to begin only to be interrupted by someone…and in the long run, that interruption turned out into nothing at all J. Anyway, I have pretty many things to mention… and I would start one by one now. (Ehh..sounds so platitudinous, but cant help .. not in a mood to concentrate on my literary finesse ! )

 

Yesterday was our House Day-for those who don’t know what is it, I am in no mood of elaborating about it further right now…So just stop questioning and listen to me- and I felt so very lonely…Initially I thought I should have called one of my female friend, but later I realized that wouldn’t have helped either. I was lonely not by choice but by force… This solitude was forced upon me. I was feeling just like any other guest in my own hostel. I wasn’t involved in organizing of it, something which I really enjoy doing I love taking responsibilities coz I think they make my daily life much more disciplined, and the feeling of completion is something ambrosial. Last year, I did a considerable amount of work in the house; I can take the liberties of saying that I too was one of the organizers of it. But this year, things were radically different … may be coz I had my Open House also during the day time, but that isn’t a genuine reason of my aloofness.

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The Open House was quite satisfactory, I knew I was the best speaker among all my team member-but I am sure they won’t agree with me, whatever… The hell I care- and did things as I planned. But I had expected the school girls to be little more flirtatious, which they weren’t, except one 😉 , but then, that girl wasn’t worth doing flirt L Good from far but far from Good ! Our product was highly acclaimed and we got some real good offers for its marketability. One of the guys was highly interested in it and he did tell us to get it patented professionally, he even exchanged cell no. and mail-id with me. That guy was particularly impressed by me … coz I quipped in genuinely in between when one of my other team member was trying to explain it to him … and thereafter I gained momentum, consequentially … he only shook hands with me and later on took 3-4 rounds, each time conversing only with me and in the end said good bye with trademark “C U”, it really felt great!

I also met one of my female friends incidentally, to whom apparently I haven’t called there. She came there to see a car made by one of his other IITian friend. Now I know it shouldn’t bother me at all, she is free to do whatever she wants to, and I have no rights to stop her… despite knowing all this, I felt bad. I felt more of jealous of that guy, and I felt possessive about her. Usually am not like that, but this time I did. The worst part was that once I called her and she refused saying she has to submit some assignment the day after, but nowadays she is having her final exams … and still she can afford to spend almost 3 hours with him,disgusting !

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Smouldering Invincibility

Victory..Defeat are not merely words at times . They mean the world to few when one has to face them actually. Then the zillion qoutes on win and loss suddenly start mocking you..you feel connected to each and every doleful song, your thoughts are just channeled just into one dimension. And strangely enough..some of the songs are so very well written, that they fit perfectly into any kind of gloomy incident .

Anyway..the loss which I am talking about here is defeat of our so called “party” in the internal elections of of our hostel.I wont call it house anymore..and thats the most dire consequence of this defeat.

I can’t feel the way I did before,

Don’t turn your back on me ,

I wont be ignored.

Time wont heal this damage anymore !

These lines from a famous Linkin Park song are the most pertinent on myriad debacles..like when someone ditches you, or you are facing a terrible defeat , or simply when you are feeling low ! As for me..am a bit of all of them these days.

 

 

 

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Honey Heavy Due Of Slumber…

I know I haven’t written a single substantial blog till now .So let me start with this At the time of writing it ..i am feeling very sleepy…;).Anyways…The title of the blog is copied from a play of shakespeareJulius caesar and these line were spoken by a very well known (historically as well as literally) character Brutus.

Sleep , as we all know is a favorite past time of more than 95% percent population and nearly 100% of us(i mean youth).Why I say nearly would be clarified soon.To start with ..i remember i used to sleep for 10-11 hours when i was in class 6-7-8, because at that time I believed that atleast this much sleep is indispensible for me , which is what i recently read in the newspaper(was a bit elated at this…i know it wasn’t worth!).Then came my boards years ..class 9th and 10th,i reduced my sleeping hours to 8 hours, because i had to study then and it was from then that i started believing in the saying jo sowat hai woh khowat hai,jo jaagat hai woh pawat hai(those who sleep loses while those who doesnt gains ).I have always been a morning study fanatic so quite regularly i used to get up at 5 in summers and enjoy the serenity of summer morning .Towards the end of class 10th…i got a bit insomniac and it was then i realized the importance of sound sleep because of this my academic results were effected my preboards were ruined due to this.At that time i prayed that this should not happen during boards time ..and fortunately it doesn’t happened .This was the time i became familiar with boards fever .Anyways ..that is a different matter altogethar and would provide fodder for my next blog!!

Then came class 11th…i suddenly started feeling myself academically very uncaptivated..there was not much to rote and almost no pressure to perform well in exams..so i again fell back to my norm of 10 hour sleep.I still got up early in the morning , but studied very little and most of the time i ended up watching TV !!Have u ever watched it 5 o’clock in morning ??It is so iconoclastic( i apologize for exaggerating..but i think so)

Class 12th..boards ..career..so much of pressure on two fronts , it should have been even more cumbersome and hectic than class 10th..but i dont know why i didn’t feet even as much pressure as class 10th.I was far more relaxed and continued the way i did in class 11th.Now i developed a new habit of getting up and than again sleeping ..i enjoy it a lot .Still , at the time of jee..i sacrificed my innate desires significantly (mind you ..not completely) and somehow managed to crack both jee and boards with a very little amount of efforts .

And now comes the most interesting part ..after coming to IIT.. my sleeping habits have changed drastically, i would rather say that they have metamorphosized into some inexplicable panache.Arguably i can claim that no fresher has changed his sleeping habits as much as me.There have been times at home when i get to bed at 9.My routine time was around 10..and to remain awaken after 11 was not known to me .I couldn’t imagine how people can study till 2 or 3 in the morning .When i came to iit , initially i used to get up around 6 in morning, after being to bed at around 12 ..six hours sleep was far more less for me than anybody else ..but i thought that this is the way iitians live ..:D.My classes were in the morning and i couldn’t understand why others set up there alarms at 7 in morning because by that time i would anyhow be awaken..i was not at all habitual to sleeping so late !!

P.S – I am continuing almost after 2 hours .

Then as the semester went ..i eventually became acquaited with sleeping habits of iitians ..yet , i wasn’t ready to sacrifice my breakfast..which is available only till 9 AM .So somehow i managed to get up at 8:30, only on days when my morning was free..otherwise i was a regular one at 8 AM lectures ..and that too on time !!Those days i used to sleep at around 1 AM and get up around 7:30..so not much of squandering away at night .So finally sem got over and i went home .

Now there was a problem ..my parents sleep around 10 and I was never in the mood to sleep at ten..but i was constrained :(..and so tried to change my habit and made myself accustomed to be at bed by eleven.But it was not to be followed for long ..as the winter breaks were hardly a month long and soon i was back to iit.

What followed here absolutlely contradicts me ..during the harsh winters, i used to be bed after 11 ..pretending to study whole night ..but actually was fast asleep at 12 and woke up as late as possible .The biggest hindernace was that this time in the morning i had pracs and just cant afford to miss them at the expense of my sleep .But dont know what happened after minor 1 ..i have never slept before 3 !!And only two days were there(in a week) when i did breakfast in morning …on monday and tuesday..never gone to class of CSL at 8 on monday..i hardly remember any.At present ..i have a problem waking up at 9..dont feel like having breakfast .

I strongly feel that sleeping for than five hours during your college life is a shear waste of time .You have so many fronts to conquer … which are far more worth than sleep.I literally get infuriated when after the exams people say “i would sleep” , i just hate them.I have started sleeping for six hours now ..but i still feel that i am waisting my time .

And very lately ..i have been sleeping in the evening too!!I dont want too …but somehow i fall asleep as soon as i reach my room.I avert ciasta too.But my afternoon lectures have taught me that it isn’t as bad as it was earlier to me .I am habitual to sleeping in short nags of 10 to 20 minutes ..i feel highly energetic after that..very refreshing as well.

I think have craped enough..was just trying to lenghten it up..so that my blog page seem good and professional enough and in the process i ended up in this .I have to study for quiz as well right now ..so ending a bit abruptly .

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