On My Recent Posts

Guys .. just relax , everything is perfectly all right with me . Lately , I have been receiving a lot of placating and sympathizing comments on my blog . Let me clarify that all these ‘Depressing Stuff’ was written quite sometime before .. it’s just that I have published these now . At present , I am only worried about majors … and absolutely nothing else . Life has been pretty good for me , particularly in the month of november .

But getting ahead of that elation and clarification , I am feeling stupid now . AML140 has taken it’s toll on me finally , I am pretty sure of ‘F’ in it ..not after giving the final exam but right from its inception in this semester . And blatantly enough , I always thought that it wont matter much .. after all many of my peers would be having the same fate as well..to provide me some comfort . I was always taking solace in this fact .. but now , after finishing off with final battle , i feel that i made a blunder .
The course wasn’t that difficult at all..it just demanded seriousness and a little bit of more time , and I never paid proper heed to its requirements..always thinking that this course isn’t made for me .. and maledicting Prof. P.C Dumir . It was not untill 2nd minor that I realized that he isn’t such a bad person as he seems to be in his first impression .

Getting late for dinner as well as for studying..would continue with it later …probably tomorrow .

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Continuing it on the next day..shortly after giving MEL211 exam…and now I am again apprehensive weather I would clear it up.I am quite certain of clearing it .. but still..there is apprehension .Anyway..coming back to AML140,as I said , he is a very good human being.He called few of the great ones shortly after the second minor to -in a sense,motivate us,though in his own rude and nonchalant panache-intimidating us saying we are hopeless cases and only some miracle now can save us . But i understood that it was his style of motivating .All I want to proove here is that fault is very much mine in all this series of events .Blaming Prof.Dumir would be just a frustrated alibi , and hence I bear no grudges , absolutely no hostile feeling against him .

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Tommorow is MD-Machine Drawing .. in which I am at the verge of getting a decent and respectable ‘B-‘ .. provided that i secure atleast 20 out of 30 in tommorows exam..which at present is a herculean task for me ..goin by previous history in these kinds of courses.And shortly after that , I would be leaving for home .

Now this post is becoming again boring .. so would finish of here.

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SORRY….!!!

Am sorry,I never mean to say that

Which I said .

And I didn’t mean that

What I said .

 

I know , I spoiled your mood

Your fun and frolicity,

But even I was in adversity

And I never wanted to be that rude .

 

This lack of self-control

Would ruin me one day,

And I want you to protect me ,

To care for me .

Coz you may have many caring for you;

But I have only you .

P.S-This one for apologising to your beloved..I composed as a repercussion of a serious fiasco with someone.

 

 

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Untitled

Why am I so stagnant ?

Not adaptable to changes.

Perhaps ,

This hebetude is innately inherent .

 

And I am a emotional fool as well

Expecting a lot from everyone

You are my only solace and dwell

And I regret , this modus , in which I have grown .

 

Why am I so vulnerable and gullible ?

Why not like others , stoic and able .

I used to cherish , take pride in ,

My idiosyncracy .

But not anymore ,

Coz I have realized -in a harsh way though-

This is sheer fallacy.

 

Sorry guys , I couldn’t decide an apt title for this poem..perhaps coz of it exorbitant degree of arbitraryness..can anyone of you help me in this ???

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The Cacophony of Silence

 

Have you ever tried hearing it ..?

The sound of silence , when you are down

The music of silence , when you are elated

The cacophony of silence , when you are bereaved of it ?

 

This may make me look weird ,

Preposterous perhaps ,

But I don’t care

How the hell does it make any difference to anyone present here?

 

I am fascinated with the notion of creating poem ,

Don’t know why , but that’s the way I am .

And I want you to find out how I am ..

Coz am not as indefatigable as I may seem ,

Am afraid that I am soon going to perish in this realm.

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Bootless Fervour

Am I the only one,

Of my kind?

Or is there someone

Who can understand my mind ?

 

But I know ,

These scribbled thoughts have no meanings,

They are just alibis,

Which I find placating .

 

The myriad smouldering desires ,

Can’t help , and hence desperately want to transcend them .

Do you still want to know ,

Why I have been mumbling prayers throughout ?

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Destructing Ego

Was that true ,

Or is this true ?

Whatever it is , I don’t want to scrutinize things

As I don’t feel that jing !

 

Something has sucked elixir out of me

But I still feel like pardoning him .

I was never like this

Don’t know what has happened to me ?

Would I be ever that , what I used to be ,

But why?

Isn’t this better then it used to be ?

 

I have thought about this

Time and again .

Don’t know why am I taking so much pain,

To explain myself , or rather not .

 

I am confused now

Despite the fact that I have something to cheer about .

Is this evanescent , exaggerated perhaps ?

Whatever it is , I couldn’t rule any possibility out .

 

 

You can have an opinion about me

Adulating , or sheer blasphemy .

But they don’t matter to me anymore ,

My thought are incoherent ,and so am I .

 

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The Birth..

Well..I am writing this post just for the sake of writing , because this page has opened after a long time from my room.I had a lot to write .. but now am running out of it 😦 .First of all..I would like to share a few things with you .I knew time is most fleeting , but I have never ever realised it untill very recently.Just two months back..I was a lot a different from now .My phone never rang,and recieving a ‘sms’ was great achievement ..and hence obviously I wasn’t good at the most colloquial lingo of our times.But it isn’t so anymore . Another very significant change in me is regarding writing of poetry.Now let me tell you this..I always used to think that writing poetry in any form..or just writing a few rhyming sentences in any language is something out of this world , people who do so are simply beyond being intelligent .They are the gifted ones.So one fine day(actually it wasn’t fine at all..i was depressed with ,perhaps, the first debacle of its kind) sitting in the tormenting MEL211 lecture class..a seemingly contradictory doublet of words strikes me , and which were very pertinent to my ongoing trauma at that time.They were ..’Diabolical Serendipity’.

P.S.-I have always been fascinated by these combination of words..perhaps this is also one of the reasons of increasing penchant for rock music.Would elaborate this further sometime later..I am in a hurry right now .

I consider it unfair if I wont write my very poem here .. so before anything else , just have a look at my creativity(no judgements right now..plzz..I know I am tyro..perhaps dilletante who is never going to be consummate enough as some other people are ..but anyway)…and so here it goes.

Diabolical Serendipity

It isn’t just lust ,
Neither it was mere infatuation ,
Accept it , as I must
Or do I have another solution?

I know why did SHE do so ,
Still I don’t want to figure it out ,
And then I aint a virtuouso ,
To tell you much about .

I am broken completely ,
And I term this Diabolical Serendipity,
Isn’t it funny ,
That SHE told me about my quandary
Did anyone say ,
Irony ?

Well..don’t know about what opinion have u formulated of it…more because I haven’t shown this to many people till yet so I still don’t know is this good enough , or even it could remotely be categorised as a verse.I did try my best to adhere to most fundamental of rhyming scheme , and in doing so , somewhere i have been very arbitary .. but i guess this is a pardonable sin.
Anyway..I am ending it , but my next few posts are going to be only poems now.Ab likh di hai toh aur kya karoon inka .. 😉

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Finally…I am scribbling again!

So finally after years of waiting and excercising my every bit of patience ..I am here to write this post.Have been absolutely desperate from last few days to scribble something here .. coz i feel a lot of things has changed since my last post,so much so that I am in CSC right now to write it.I have been through a roller coaster ride during these days ..but fortunately at present ..I am on higher side 🙂 not because of majors..obviously .As I dont enjoy the limitlessness of time at present ..hence i would get starkly to the topic.

Strangely enough..I have developed a penchant for writing poems..(for some publicly unmentionable reason) and have written 6 of them till yet .The latest one came to my mind yesterday night ..around 1 AM , while studying for AML160 majors exam..(that exam ended up in complete fiasco).

I would straightaway write that first…

For someone very very special to me….

ThankYOU

A new morning,

A brand new beginning .

I can start all over again

Thinking little about whatever i didn’t gain.

 

Everything is so fresh , full of vigour

And so am I , all brimming with fervour.

Yes , I can ! is all I need to say

And I know , I will find the most righteous way.

 

Brooding over past hasn’t helped anyone till yet ,

So why not to devour the serendipity I have met.

This immanent illumination of mine , I Owe You

Oh my love , Thank YOU.

This wasn’t the first ever poem written by me .. to be honest , but still I find this most pertinent to be published write now .. coz all others are full of depression.I would continue with more of it my next post.Abhi toh major ke liye pad loon.. 😦

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