The Other Side of Violence

Why are men violent? I mean, domestically.

And why so, with their wives and not (mostly) with their girlfriends? It’s because they’re afraid. Emotionally weak and vulnerable. More than the aggression, it’s their defense. Something like you’d do instinctively upon seeing a potentially poisonous snake.
With that, we arrive on a more important question: Is that justified?

Ofcourse, like truth, justifications are subjective. No matter how much we try to put in objectivity in any of the men-women relationship, the bitter fact is that, we simply can’t. Somethings are not meant for that. And that is what -I think- makes them more complex than they already are.
But: there are two things in which I firmly believe in. One, everyone must have their own point of view on this. Two, none can’t live with them and without them. Black & White. Yin & Yang. Batman & Joker. Nature, most certainly, is a sadist.

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The Departed

.. And then, She went!

Sans me being Content.

This, apparently, is not The End.

But I just don’t want to Understand.

Or May be, there never was such a thing

Only Dreams, Fantasy and more of Deceivings.

May be, we never Met.

We never Felt.

Then Howcome-

This Beautiful, Pregnant Essence?

Reality is such an Illusion!

Perhaps, I’d rather endorse Deceptions.

At the least, they do not wreck Sensations.

All I ask for..

.. is Redemption

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Come on, 2009! :)

A very Happy New Year to all!

The previous post was written in a jiffy. So it doesn’t count. Not for me, at the least. You see, the thing is that I’ve realized I can’t do many -or for that matter, any– thing in haste. I take my own little time. Which – in most cases is – [much] more than others. Eating, Ironing, Studying, Socializing… just to quote a few random examples. People who have known me wouldn’t be surprised a wee bit at any of it.

Anyway, let’s make it musical. There was a time – I can’t exactly recall when- perhaps last year or so, when there was such a dearth of good hindi music. I mean the songs weren’t just worth listening to twice. And I was pretty sure that that was the near end of Bollywood music. But thankfully, I was wrong. And wrong by light years! Of late, from November onwards or so, I don’t think I’ve listened to much of English. Songs from Dostana, Fashion, Yuvvraj, Ghajini, Jaane tu.., Rock On, et al.. and very recently, from Slumdog Millionaire, CC2C, Raaz-2, DevD, AR Rehman’s new album, LuckByChance… They all have been just too good! A huge chunk of this quality music is attributed to Rehman. I mean, the songs from Yuvvraj were so brilliant that I watched the entire movie just for them. [FYI- That movie isn’t worth watching at all except if you’re highly interested in Salmaan’s looks, or Rehman’s music or both.] Then there is Ghajini these days and there was Jaane Tu.. Ya Jaane Na a little while ago.

If you haven’t seen Slumdog Millionaire yet, or listened to it’s OST.. then you should immediately stop reading this crap and do aforementioned things ASAP! Or you can wait and watch it in theatres from 25th January onwards. I highly doubt if any Indian Director could’ve possibly made this movie the way a Firangi did. He showed a much more veracious India than any other contemporary Indian movies. Talent, can’t just be the raison d’être for this. Rather, what can be perceived from the movie is perspicacious homework. And the background score makes it even more lively. Your heart beat do get increased. Mine did! I won’t reveal where. Indian film industry, I feel, isn’t lagging behind in technology or talent or resources much these days. It falls back when hard work comes into picture. I mean, how many of the actors did built 8-packs just to make some action scenes look authentic and get into the feel of such character. But yes, there are those who would build a 6-pack to show it off in some totally inane dance sequence. But then, this is a free democratic country and people have their choices and preferences. I just wish they’d have prioritized a little more scrupulously.

While we’re still on movies, I feel morally obliged to let you people know about the movie named ‘The Curious Case of Benjamin Button’ which is one of the most intelligent movie I’ve seen in the recent present. It’s too long, boring.. Nonetheless Brilliant. I won’t say much about it, except that you should watch it.

***

In this new year, I’ve learnt that you can’t force yourself to fall in love. It just happens. Contrary to what I used to believe, but my credos have been fully replaced now by new ones. Change, as they say, is only inevitable. And necessary for one’s growth. [BTW, in that previous quote, I’ve been wondering from time immemorial that who are those they?] I used to hear this in movie/books, but now I know the truth behind it. And not vicariously. Then, it just doesn’t matter how good or bad the person might be. If you don’t feel, you just don’t feel. Nothing can be done about it. I don’t know how it is for others, but for me this has been the case so far. Also, you can’t make someone fall in love with you. Coz after all, the choice is theirs ultimately. Eh, it’s just too complicated. I can’t even express it here with panache. Chuck it. I landed incongruously.

***

It’s always great to catch up with old friends. It’s even greater to catch up with older friends. It’s even grander to catch up with people who have known you for past 10 years. The fact that you were together then, and you’re together now too.. is overwhelming enough. Everyone of them have changed drastically. But the best part is that we all changed in sync with each other. We are still as good friends as we used to be. The only difference being that then, we spent almost a day daily together, and now we spend a week together annually.

C’ est la vie…

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You could [would] be mine

Again, I found this poem written in the back page of one of my notebooks. I might have not liked it when I wrote it, but I liked it today when I read it. For a change, it actually makes sense! Although, like always, the resemblance to any living/dead person is purely coincidental. 🙂

Some day you’ll be mine

That day, we’ll shine.

One day, you’ll find

I was not so out of my mind.

The promises which I made,

Were not supposed to fade.

Perhaps, I’m loner today;

The solitude won’t last forever

The sun will crawl up the river

.. And the night will go away.

I promise, you’ll listen..

And we’ll move on.

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12th May ’08

All alone in a city where I’ve never been before. I still don’t know its geographical bearing. But that’s not important. The important thing is that this post is written in a hotel room. People do God-knows-what-not-s in hotel rooms, and I ended up writing this post. A little off the track- I’m also watching this IPL match between Royal Challenger’s Bangalore and Punjab Kings XI. RCB, to my disappointment, haven’t done well so far. I like RCB because two of my cricketing idols –Anil Kumble and Rahul Dravid- are in it. Anyway, let’s move on.

This is my second day here. Some might wonder [if they care, that is] why is it coming on the second day? Why not the first? Yesterday, I was too busy feeling all lonely. I haven’t been this solitary before. I did forget how my own voice sounded! To make things worse, I was getting near desperate to tell all my first-day-experiences of Saharanpur, how I feel about the city, about its people, about its chicks 😉 I must say, Saharanpur hasn’t disappointed me much. It’s larger, and more advanced than I anticipated it to be. I wanted to tell this all; to someone.

And ironically, it’s not Her. How the hell it can be Her when we barely speak? She isn’t even aware of my whereabouts, but She is! She is the only one who knows about Her. She is the one whom I’ve become used to tell everything, in last 6-7 months or so. Every minutest of details of my daily mundane life, ranging from which eating place I find expensive to what I think of Gul Panag to what she thinks of Imraan Khan 😉 To be brutally honest, I’m missing her the most right now! More aptly, I’m missing talking to her. I wish I had internet right now. I even tried finding some nearby wireless networks, none is here! 😦

It is very very recent that I’ve realized I miss her. It happened for the first time when I saw the trailer of Jaane Tu… ya jaane na on TV. Shortly afterwards, my sis told me about the cute song in Juno, which was the last thing I saw on my scrapbook before living for here. And then there were all those innumerable songs which she told me listen to. Yesterday, I listened to all of them once again. Time is running out by Muse, Hello by Lionel Richie and This Love by Maroon 5 stood out blatantly among the rest. Passive by A Perfect Circle wasn’t still available in better format. Only thing left is that I’m yet to see 27 Dresses and appreciate bollywood-like songs of Enchanted [which, by the way, I just can’t :-P]

I pretty much know her reaction after reading this. So I won’t say much now. Err… I’m afraid I think I already did!

Woteva, Don’t Challenge [:-X] 😀 

*******

I don’t know when this post would get posted on blog. This is such a dingy place, I’ve been searching for some cyber café sort of thingy for past 2 days and I haven’t succeeded yet!

Right now, I think I’m going to undergo worst training experience ever. I’m some 500 KM away from home, I’ve got no place to live here, they’re not giving me any stipend and I’m spending almost 500 buck daily. I want to go back to Delhi L

******

I just came to know that I’ve been tagged. As an ethical blogger, it’s my social and moral responsibility to reply to the tag, no matter how busy I am. And I’ll do that, but not right now. I don’t feel like doing so.

******

Aside[I’m supposed to be in the factory workshop right now, observing and preparing my training reports.. Whatever!]

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Errr..

I just realized I haven’t blabbered casually here for a long period of time now. Probably, I’ve been too busy with some other, more important stuff. This post, was never conceptualized, it’s just materializing right now. Perhaps, for the first time ever, I haven’t written anything in my mind before hand and whatever crap am scribbling here is produced dynamically.

• First things first. I just wish -and wish pretty badly- that this weekend turns out to be my most memorable weekend. I just hope I do not screw up things.
• 16th to 23rd of Dec ’07, 28th Jan ’08 and 24th Feb ’08 are dates to be memorized by heart.
• India winning in Australia, India [U-19] winning in Malaysia, Jeev Milkha Singh, Jyoti Randhawa doing unprecedented wonders in Golf… ’tis arguably one of the best phases of Indian Sports. India Shining, rightly and Brightly.
• Haven’t seen Jodha-Akbar yet. I wanted to see it so very much in theater. But it’s getting banned gradually in all over the state, and if I may add.. Shamefully! I don’t understand. Ain’t these people have any thing better to do than just to create fuss about every movie which is even remotely related to religion or history? Can’t they just keep their asses on their seats and take things as they are supposed to be taken? Ashutosh Gowarikar never claimed he is recreating some historical incident. It is just a story based on history. Not history itself. So what if he distorted some facts and figures. They were all done in good spirits, just to make the screenplay more captivating. Thats what my tini-tiny filmi brain comprehends.
• On similar lines[I mean filmy], I saw Juno a while ago. Some movies have got that thing in them. I’m not sure what “thing” am I talking about… the effort which they put in to make the movie seem effortless makes for “that thing”, I believe. The feel-good-factor which the movie gives is seriously commendable. Pretty much like TZP. No! I’m not comparing anything.
• Lastly, but definitely not the least, the traffic on my blog has increased mani-manifolds! Yet people aren’t commenting in the same proportions. Some think that my posts are too good to comment! Whatever! 😛 Nonetheless, I’m loving this all.

Imminent- Minors, Poltu.. and a whole lotta futile hardwork. It’s a formal declaration, that I’ll not be involved in any kinda politics henceforth. Concerned people make a note of it. I’m damn serious. I’m not making any such proclamation for minors though. No matter how ardently I want to, I just can’t afford to 😦

***

I think I’m looking good these days 🙂

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Pages from a Guy’s Journal

… Her hair smelled heavenly today. I was overwhelmed! I wanted to say so much to her. But I said nothing. Absolutely nothing! I was speechless, dumbfounded with her quintessential Beauty. To top it all, she wore black! I was as close to her as possible, all the time. I was constantly looking at her, without blinking.. hoping I’d print it in my mind, indelibly. The best moment- when she hugged me while going, I wanted the sands of time to stop right then and there. For one last time, I took a swift, deep breath to carry that mane-smell forever with me. As usual, it was the tightest of all hugs I’ve ever got.

I saw her departing as long as I could. And I know she knew it; just as she was about to loose my sight[and I her’s].. she waved the final adieu. I was ecstatic. Subtle rays of hope still lingering around…

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For Her & Beauty

Radiance of million suns,
Innocence of every child.
Beauty of the entire elf’s,
Dream of every eye.

Astounding beguiling sway,
In most cherubic of way.  
Giggle of tinkling temple bells,
Gloom, like fire of hell.

Magnificent mannerisms,
Surreal spasm.
Perfection personified,
Aphrodite epitomized.

 

I need no more,
Just this immaculate angel.

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Oo-Rah!

The one person whom I care won’t wish me. And I will not wish anyone else! This is my V-Day resolution. If the day is gonna be bad for me, let me make it more pathetic. I can’t help, rather I don’t feel like helping. So no V-Day wishes for any one of you this year 😦

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Wanna Be With You

You know, how it feels to find a coin in your jacket’s pocket which you don’t even remember of. Or to find rupee note in your trouser’s pocket. Now imagine, how would I have felt to find a poem written in one of my very old notebooks! I don’t even remember why did I write it. Nevertheless.. it doesn’t mitigate its flavour. It isn’t good, at least I didn’t like it when I read it yesterday, but still I do suppose it deserves a place here.

I wanna be with you forever,
No matter how much is the pain.

I wanna love you ever,
Even if there is nothing I gain.

I wanna touch you like ever,
And never let it go in vain.

There is no me without you,
Do I still need to explain?

I just want you,
Again, again and Again!

Coz I never had enough of you,
I never would..
..Or else I could;
Only if someone be weary of Bliss…

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Final(ly) Crush(ed)- III

This one is the last!

Actually, I started with my crush anecdote coz I wanted to write this one. After the geography-teacher thing.. I thought I had grown up and mature enough to have such childish crushes.. but I was wrong! There was something more in store for me.. that happened when I just came to tenth standard. Well, I cant reveal anything about the lady here.. coz that could lead me to some kinda trouble 😉 .. all I can tell about her is that I met her a few days ago.. here in IIT campus itself.. and to my surprise she is and would be living in Delhi for next one year. Although, I have least of odds of meeting her again.. but that very brief meeting with her certainly was titillating enough for me. The best part was, she was equally impressed now.. like she always been( cant elaborate more on that .. unfortunately). And I am desperately hoping (and praying too) to bump into her again (literally as well 😀 ).. Serendipity, anyone?

So fellas, pray for me.. Ameen !

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More Crushe(s) ..[II]

I have had only two serious crushes on teachers. One of them was when I was in class 4. This one, by far, has been my closest encounter with love. I went to school daily just to meet her, without any lecherous strings attached.. surprisingly enough! She has been one of the most beautiful women as well as a person in my life. And more interestingly, I didn’t realize I love her.. until recently.(by recent,I mean a few years ago) We were more like friends, I had visited her house very often. No guesses.. I was her favourite student. And when I heard she got engaged and was getting married next month, my heart literally came to mouth!! I very vividly remember that day, I was frustrated.. exasperated with each and every thing.. everyone, and I couldn’t figure that out then.. but now I can. I very well knew.. I am never gonna marry her.. but then, I cant help it either 😦 . But anyway.. I continued meeting her after she left school and got married, coz then her abode was very much near to my school.. till she flied off to Mumbai 😦 (then, Bombay) . And they lived happily ever after.. not me!, atleast for some time. Then, long time after that.. I saw her once near a shop … when I was in my 11^th standard. But by the time I figured out it was she.. she melted in thin air 😦 .

The second serious crush was on my geography teacher, when I was in class 7. But unlike the previous one, this one was completely lusty, no love, no sentiments.. just wild fantasies ;-). And the good part was, it didn’t have any adverse effects on my studies.. on the contrary.. it enhanced them. Made me concentrate harder on the subject.. coz then I wanted to score highest in her subject.. exactly which I did! 198 out of 200 isn’t certainly bad after all. She wasn’t the most beautiful, but was the hottest women I have ever seen yet. I think she had some aura of raw, nascent sexuality. The only though which got seeing her pure sex.. she literally was a sex-goddess for me. She was barely 5’1” , pimpled face.. not too fair, neither dark.. but with perfect figure. The first time I saw her, she was newly married.. bangles, vermillion all over.. red-circled sensous bindi .. white body hugging suit with red polka dots.. tantalizingly aggarvating her already-perfect figure even more. Man.. I get on high thinking about her even now! She definitely was gifted, with exuberant, oozing feminity. Haven’t seen anyone like her yet ! Then she again came back to teach us in class 10, and ruined my geography, academically. By that time.. every one in school knew what I though of her..even some of the teachers, ofcourse.. including her ! But then.. that hardly made any difference to my peers.. coz they too had very same opinion about her 😛 .

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Crushe(s) – I

How is expected to behave when he suddenly comes across his/her childhood sweetheart? The one, whom he/she used to fantasize.. or perhaps thought that he/she is in love with him/her. Well.. the story has been a lot different with me, from the very earliest!

Crushes on teachers is a very much natural and most widely spread phenomenon among almost all school going children, and I was no exception to it. I had my very first crush on my nursery teacher.. and mind you.. it wasn’t sexual at all, primarily coz I didn’t know the meaning of this three lettered word… around which our entire life revolves.. that’s another theory altogether .. and would elaborate on it later, for sure. Coming back to the point, Her name was ‘Cicilia singh’ strange enough.. her hair were short, but not boycut, and she was tall and dark.. with probably smart personality and authoritative kinda voice. That’s all I can recall about her.

Next was in class 1.. I cant recall anything about her now, save this- I had one of her finger-nails(which broke while she was playing with it, sitting ideally in the class.. in a supposedly free-period or so) as a souvenir for a long, long time.

Again in class 2, I got a crush.. and this one was more serious than before.. her name was Malya Bajpayi, petite.. very fair, average height.. that’s all. In the very same class, she got married and left. And her replacement bore no different feelings for me, Hema Ahuja.. was equally good for me, although.. she wasn’t half as beautiful as her, but then, she was damn impressed by me.. me totally unaware of any remotest of reasons! I gifted her some frivolous card, with weird and silly drawing of some equally incongruous superhero 😀

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A Reason…

Well, first of all.. this isn’t an authentic piece of creativity.. it has been reproduced in exact form by me with full permission of its author. There is a story behind writing this. I’ve been thinking of writing that story on this blog for quite some time now.. but I guess I need to wait a little more to do that. As for the time being.. I’d rather give you people the context in which the story has been written, or would it be too personal stuff?Not me for sure but for some other people.. Alrite then, all I can right now is that it is a reply to some question asked by someone to someone!

the sun did dupe ,

the stars count reached few,

yet its not d time to rue,

as i want to start new,

and it has got to be just me and u,

together 4 eternity out of d wrecked world’s view,

for dis realtion luv is all dat due.

and m so much into luv wid you !!! 🙂

And now, I am getting life-threats to remove it from here .. now what am I supposed to do?

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