All Will [be] Well

The way I see it, life is never as fair and just as much I fancied it to be.  As the college nears its inevitable end, I can’t help but realize that those were -effectively- the best days of my life, and the road ahead is so not smooth. Considering the fact that I’m such a complicatedly manufactured specimen of human race, the predicament seems a million times worse than it actually was/is/will ever be. The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars But in ourselves, that we are underlings. May be. May not be. It was supposed to happen like this, I know. But then, why does it hurt so much? That I’ll never know.

I always believed that life is a very continuous series of crests and troughs, arranged in a very neat fashion. Like a simple sine wave. But I really can’t recall even one single moment when I felt genuinely happy ever since I’ve been in college. The occasional once which came had their little baggage. But I never really cribbed about them. I kept consoling myself that there must be a better plan for me by Him. I hope there is. I seriously hope there is.

Novembers used to be the best year of the month for me. I used to look forward for them every time when Decembers came. For twenty two years, they just kept on getting better and better. Then came the twenty-third, and November is no longer the most cherished month of the year! Thinking about the last November, I also realize life changes so much in just a span of twelve months. Like right now, I’ve no idea where I’ll be in the next November. More importantly, how I’ll be.

I’ve almost stopped listening to music these days. More or Less. But there is this one song from 3 Idiots- All izz well. The song is not great or something per se, but there are these lines from the song which made immense amount of sense to me. Henceforth, they’ll be my facebook status for a long time to come.

Scholarship की पी गया दारु, गम तो फिर भी मिटा नहीं,

अगरबत्तियां राख हो गयी, God तो फिर भी दिखा नहीं.

I don’t know. Prasoon Joshi, is it? Too lazy to do a Google search.

*****

I’ve a feeling, that my Godot will come. And I’ll prove Becket wrong, individually. But then, the feelings, the aspiration, who the hell cares about them anyway? Isn’t the world much simpler, absolutely non-layered, right? If Only.

V for Virginity

I do not write to intend this as a novel [or a story for that matter]… This was how my story was supposed to begin. Before anything else, let me be very clear that in this blog post, all forms of interrogative, inquisitive comments are strictly proscribed by the author [which is none other than me]. Colloquially, no How-What-Where-Why-Who et al.  Bromidic as it may sound, but all this which is about to follow in italics is purely a work of authors abjectly rich imagination. Ergo, even the slightest resemblance with any person living/dead is [un]fortunately coincidental.

So without any further delay, let’s get going with it.

I do not write to intend this as a novel, but sometimes the need to communicate gets all transcending and utterly primordial. And this [almost] carnal desire to communicate is the raison d’atre for this present fable. I’ll begin from the beginning.

The entire engineering fraternity [The reader is hereby pleaded to take note of the word ‘fraternity’ with full heed. The author has used this with utmost deliberation, carefully shunning ‘sorority’ for reasons which will get obvious as he reaches towards the fag end of this sentence.] is notorious for it’s obsession with fairer sex – and sex, to be more specific- mostly because of their [it’s] sheer paucity in this profession. Sequestering all the chronic contentions, allow me to take you all to a point which is important here without giving you -and me- the sweetly indulging and obviously titillating luxury of digression.

I never lost my virginity. I knew exactly what I did with it. And this is an unabashed [albeit, an honest and carefully non-vulgar] account of what I did.

The first time I had a girlfriend, I didn’t even touch her. We barely met. The fling was primarily on phone. I thought lust is for animals. Love is something which is pure. And hence, it can’t be intermingled with love. How insanely stupid must I’ve been back then; and what a bitch must she have been to dump me for someone else!

The world hadn’t seen much sunlight before I was into another [even more] serious relationship [if possible!]. I was fast this time. We held hands! And that was pretty much it. But before things got really serious, we kinda broke up. That, or we were on an indefinite break. Whatever! Implies the same. I didn’t even try for anything before I was into my third super-serious relationship. The only difference being that I was much more relaxed and nonchalant about all the ‘relationship’ stuff this time. I was kinda ‘been-there-done-situation’. Irrelevant, perhaps. Boisterous, definitely. Also, I moved to the ‘next’ level too. But as it turned out to be, the girl was too ethical. ‘No ding-dong before you sing a song’. What the fuck! I can’t marry at 21! I mean I legally can, but pragmatically I won’t. And this gave me my smoothest break-up ever.

By this time, I was done with girls. Not forever, but yes, for the time being. I strived to strengthen my male bonding [in an absolutely non-gay way]. I paid attention to academics. Tried improving my grades, with little or no success in the long run. That was a period of self-abnegation, for no fucking good reason. If you subtract the word ‘good’ from the last sentence, I think it’d have described my situation more aptly. To put it most simply, I was just not being me. This was unacceptable. And un-natural. I knew I had to revert back to my old ways. Sooner or later. And sooner, I did. I was back doing what I do best. Well, definitely it wasn’t ‘the best’ coz had it been that, I wouldn’t have been…

Now I’m the kind of guy who learns from his mistakes, as well as from other’s mistakes. And I never repeat the same mistake. I really take utmost care so as it won’t get repeated. But the problem with me is that I get so engrossed in avoiding the previous one that I just am not able to foresee an unprecedented one coming. To sum it up, I never repeat a previous mistake; I always do a brand new one. Why did I tell all this will be apparent in a matter of few lines.

I was careful enough not to have my fourth girl as one of the previous three. Now I honestly don’t know how many species of human females exist on this planet at any given point of time. I think that number will be highly debatable. Anyway, that’s not what I’m here for. All I knew by now was those previous three were not of my type. Therefore, this one should be of completely different type altogether. Fair Enough. I started praying for a nymphomaniac in morning/evening prayer. Oh, before that, I started having morning/evening prayers. And as Paolo Coelho says, if you really desire for something, the entire universe conspires for you to get it. And get her, I did. But then, as the saying goes ‘Be Careful for what you wish, coz you might just get it all, and then some you don’t want’; and I wished for too much. I realized it pretty soon. But not soon enough to mend myself. Redemption was right there, but the correct path is not easy and sins are always tempting. Taking the higher moral and literal ground  -like all great authors do- our author here too won’t get into the gory details of the act. Suffice is to say that on a very hot Sunday afternoon, in an air-conditioned room, with no electricity, amidst seas of sweat, I lost something to gain everything.

Right then, I had what alcoholics call as ‘moment of clarity’. And in that moment, what ranged in my head was this. ‘Women are stupid. But if women weren’t stupid, the world won’t go round’.

One of the novelties of being human beings is that we can almost never do what we set out to do.

And that was how the story was supposed to end. It didn’t make much sense to me though. It might make sense to some of you. There is also a tini-tiny problem. What I feel is that this [the fiction] might be offensive to some feminist kinda people. Now I don’t have particularly anything against them, but then I’m also not too fond of them. So in case you’re one of them, I do apologize sincerely.

Kaminey Kritics!

I don’t remember any movie in a long time whose pre-release fuss was so much. Honestly speaking, I get a little excited and little more curious with all this kind of stuff. Ever since I saw the trailor of Kaminey in march [when I was watching Pink Panther-2. No! I don't want any comments on this, coz this post isn't about that] for the first time, I knew I’ll be seeing it as soon as it gets released. My only tiny apprehension was regarding Shahid Kapoor. Just that, he really can’t act. But I convinced myself, coz the movie bore the tag of Vishal Bhardwaj. That was March.

Aah! The notorious bollywood strike was here. April. May. June. July saw the unveiling of the music of  Kaminey. And also, the very famous Dhan Te Nan. So far so good. Then there were the tracks Pehli baar mohabbat ki hai and Raat ke dhai baje. Things were looking better. We’ll get to see an intelligent movie; probably the first one after DevD.

Two days before the release of the movie, I read this review. Things haven’t been so good ever! I was super excited. I couldn’t wait for it’s release. I’ve lost count on the number of attempts I made to book the tickets. Online, Offline. All Failed! Because, my ATM Debit Card is neither Visa or Mastercard. But I was content. I was watching it on saturday. Not too shabby for me. And I already had plans to watch it again sometime in the coming week. Yaayye!

Saturday, 15th of August. This was the first time I was not watching a movie in PVR in Delhi, attributed to apparent unavailability of tickets. Duhh! We were at 3Cs in Lajpat Nagar. The movie hall was good. The company which I had was even better.

Cut to the movie. The movie [almost] began with a very sensual lip-locking between Shahid and Priyanka. Very realistic! Very passionate. Instantaneous turn-on. With respect to the movie, ofcourse. Half an hour into the movie, there was just this one chasing sequence which got me to the edge of the seat. And I wanted to be on the edge for the rest of the movie too. I was glad! Finally, the movie is really ’starting’. Little did I know that it’d be last time I’ll be on the edge in a 3 hour long ordeal. Well, ‘ordeal’ would be a little too harsh word to use. It was a nice movie. When I say ‘nice’, all I mean is that it wasn’t bad. Definitely not good. The disappointment which I felt after the movie was over was not because of Vishal Bhardwaj [or even Shahid Kapoor!], it was because of the reviews and the hype.

The movie had nothing which the critics claimed it did. You can compare Vishal Bhardwaj to Quentin Tarantino in a very broad sense of word. But you just can’t compare Pulp Fiction with Kaminey. So Not done, dear reviewers! I’ll never understand why Guddu stammered, or why Charlie lisped, or why Shahid wasn’t made to dance [the only thing which he is really good at]; probably not till I am alive and in my right senses. And I’m very sorry Priyanka, I didn’t fall in love with Sweety -like we did to Geet in Jab We Met- simply because she was hardly there in the movie. Apart from the hand-held camera work, there was nothing extra-ordinarily brilliant about the movie. It is so not the most well edited movies of recent times. Let’s not talk about DevD, but even Gulal was much better edited. Vishal Bhardwaj ji, I think you had too-much-to handle in one go. Go Charlie Go was good. But not Charlie, or Guddu, or Sweety! Gulzar sir did justice, and so did the music director in Vishal Bhardwaj. But that was pretty much it.

This review, is more like a review of reviewers rather than of the movie per se. I think I’ve lost faith in you people. May be, me and my friends should start our own reviewing service.

I Never got Past ‘The Past’

I happened to visit the place where I lived from 1989 to 1995. It was a chance encounter, the visit I mean. I didn’t plan it. I was passing by that lane, and almost impulsively, I took a left turn instead of going straight.

I don’t know about other people, but I can recall my childhood pretty vividly. The labyrinthine lanes seemed so pregnant with past. So much so that it almost gave me goose bumps and involuntarily, I started returning. I had to coerce myself not to. The lanes had a proper road with tar and all [as opposed to the bricks which they used to have previously]. They were so not the same as they used to be, and yet I had a striking familiarity with them. It also reminded me of all of the childhood friends which I had. I lost touch with them as soon as I left that place, and I’ve no idea of even their physical appearance now. I don’t think I’d be able to recognize them with their face anymore. Just a moment, I think I should name them all here. Who knows one of them might see this and get in touch. The names are [as much chronological as possible]- Mohit, Golu, Ekta, Ashu, Nishu, Chhotu, Betu, Prateek, Little, Mini, Garima. This is pretty much it. I really don’t know their proper names, so pardon me for that. The dusty ‘park’ where we used to ‘play’ now has a 4 storey house.

Then I saw the home where I used to live when I didn’t go to school. Astonishingly, it was still the very same! Superficially, nothing had changed there. That was some sight. Plastic Ball Cricket, the first day at school, my thumb nail getting squished, getting drenched in rain, bathing in sun light during winters, the doordarshan, death of Rajiv Gandhi.. these are some of the things which I remember with utmost clarity. My reading habit started from the newspaper report of assassination of Rajiv Gandhi. It was such sensational news of its time that I thought, damn.. only if I could read and understand everything written on that boring and awkwardly ‘huge’ newspaper. [No, the newspapers didn’t use to be any bigger than they’re now, but I was too small for them ].

Our landlord, Gupta ji [who was almost a grandfather figure to me] is no more. The name plate was engraved with the dreaded letters LATE. I think I felt a lump in throat for no good reason.

I never knew I’d be so connected with my past, but as it turns out.. Apparently, I am. And much later, I realized that this what I’ve been wanting to do for quite sometime now. Sometimes, living in past is not such a bad idea at all.

Connecting People

Alrite. So this tag wasn’t as much fun as I fancied it would be. On the contrary, it was a little embarrassing at times; which -frankly- made me a little uncomfortable.But still, I did it coz I haven’t done anything here in a long time. Do it at your own risk.

By the way, take a moment and think about the evolution of phones. From Alexander Graham Bell to N97s, iPhones, Blackberrys n ol, they’ve come a long way. Haven’t they? No wonder why I keep wondering then Next is What?

1. What Color Is Your Phone?
Black

2. Who’s The First Person Who Comes Up Under The Letter P?
Papa

3. Who’s The Last Person You Called?
Neetole

4. Who Was Your Last Missed Call From?
Neetole [She called me, but I couldn’t pick up the phone then, so obviously I had to call her back.]

5. Who’s The 2nd Person Who Comes Up Under D?
Deep Mala Bharti.

6. Who’s Speed Dial 2?
None! I’ve never used this feature of my phone.

7. Who’s The 3rd Person Who Comes Up Under J?
Jatin Kalson.

8. Who Was Your Last Received Call From?
Some unknown number. But I know who it was.

9. Who’s Speed Dial Number 4?
Refer #6.

10. What Is Your Background?
Wallpaper which says- Parental Advisory. Explicit Content.

11. How Many Text Messages Are Currently In Your Inbox?
Oh Come On! Do they really want me to count them? There must be around 100. But it’s dynamic. I keep on deleting text messages frequently.

12. Who’s Speed Dial 1?
Refer #1.

13. What’s The 5th Message Say In Your Inbox? From?
Sorry. That couldn’t be revealed here. The user demands privacy.

14. Who’s The 1st Person Who Comes Up Under B?
B. Mama.

15. Who Was Your Last Text Message From?
Neetole. No one sends me SMSs anymore L

16. Name Every Person You Have Text Messages From
The list won’t be too long. But again, The user demands privacy.

17. Who Is The 2nd Person Under A?
Aditya Deorha.

18. Who’s The 9th Person On Your Missed Call from?
Kritika.

19. What Does The 6th Message In Your Outbox Say? To Who?
I don’t save messages in Outbox.

20. Who Is The First Name In Your Phonebook?
Abhineet Bhandari.

21. Who Is The Last Name In Your Phonebook
Vivek.

22. Do You Have A Camera Phone?
Hell Yeah! J

23. Who Is The Last Person Under G?
Gopal Lal.

24. What Does The Last Text Message Say In Your Inbox? From?
Sorry, Again.

25. Who Is The Second Person Under K?
Kanika.

26. What Is Your Ringtone?
This is the new shit- Marilyn Manson. [Simply because it’s loud ]

No Rain

Rain Rain!

When will you come again?

Come, and wash away this pain;

Which has been making us all SO insane.

Let us not complain,

About NO Rain.

Now show us some brain,

And don’t be more inane.

We don’t want you to disdain.

Just don’t be the cause of all our bane,

All we want from you is to be a little more sane.

Please be our exuberant mundane.

O Mighty Rain!

Push n’ Pull ;)

Of late, my mind has become insanely – as some would say, others would agree- dirty. I really have no idea whehter I had always been like that subconcsiously and that all that is coming into forefront presently.

Arguably, the so called “theory” which I’m about to present here would be frowned upon by many, and I’m totally okay with it. Although, I’ve a tiny plea- please endorse my creativity before abjuring me absolutely.

Okay.. I don’t know how to put it in decent words. I don’t know how [and from where] to begin. Tersely, all I can manage is this- Have you ever thought of a T-shirt saying ‘Push’ in the front and ‘Pull’ at the back in big block letters? Well, that is it. This is my Push n’ Pull theory.

Smoking Works!

If you’re going to be insanely rational, please don’t read this further.

A little while ago [well, I don't exactly remember how while ago], I used to get spams which roughly had something like this in their subject – Older women looking for Younger men. You know, ceremoniously ordinary event in life of an average netizen. What I saw today in my spam was the exact opposite of what it used to be. [!] And then, it struck me.. I’ve grown. If not in anything else, then definitely numerically. Which, isn’t too comforting a thought.

***

I didn’t had 150 bucks in change the other night to pay for auto. I had a 500 rupee note, a 100 rupee note, 3 10s and a 5. And some cigarettes. I gave the autowaala 135 in cash, and 3 Marlboros. He was glad and satisfied beyond explanation. Smoking Works!

***

Tweet Tweet!

Breaking News- Twitter is killing Blogs! Is anyone listening?

That is the reason why this -and I’m sure, many other- blogs are well on the way to oblivion. Blogging is like a test match. You need insane patience, you never know how long it would be and most importantly, whether it is worth the efforts putting in. Twittering, is more like the T20 game. Latest, Innovative, Improvized and Miniaturized version of an previously popular game.. which is set to take over it’s predecessor. I didn’t find Twitter much appealing initially, but lately I’m finding myself significantly hooked to it. The story of my life. Like today, I had this sudden and almost indomitable urge to tweet about my feat in achieving 0.00 balance in my phone. Sad. Lame. Sadly Lame. Lamely Sad. Go ahead, I won’t stop you from judging me. I surely don’t have any discretion after saying that publicly.

***

Facebook is the new Orkut. I’ve been considerng to change my home page pretty soon to Facebook. My orkut is dead. Or would be, in a month or so, if the things didn’t change drastically; and I see no possibility of that in near future. So.. Dead! This phenomenon of social networking sites, some people will never understand. And by “some”, I mean people in their thirties, mid-thirties. It’s one of those idiosyncracies which our generation will boast of in future. You know son, I met your Mom on Facebook; which is really a remarkable and unique paradigm of interfacing, because facebook never supported strangers interacting; unlike Orkut in it’s infancy. Fancy that!

****

The oscars are out. Slumdog Millionaire is clear cut winner of the tournament this year. It’s a good movie. One or Two oscars would have been more than sufficient to honour it. But Eight! And just Two to The Dark Knight? For me, this marks the beginning of total disbelief in Oscars henceforth. Most certainly, bollywood has churned out some better movies than this one. I’m not saying it’s a bad movie. Just that, we’ve made better, which deserved to be acknowledged; but were not. It kinda feels like some charity-cum-conspiracy to placate. Just because the movie is based on India, lets give it oscars. Coz China and India are the forces to reckon with currently.

For the ‘best movie’ category, I think The curious case of Benjamin Button was miles ahead of it, notwithstanding TDK. Oh, and by the way, TDK wasn’t even nominated in that category! Here is an interesting fact- All the 5 movies nominated in that category did a combined business of $270 million [approx]. The Dark Knight, on the other hand, is only the fourth movie in the history to cross $1 billion mark.

I finished Watchmen. Perhaps for the first time, I didn’t find something [especially in this genre] as much appealing as I had expected. I guess Alan Moore messed up the ending. It was good while commencing. It became better in the middle. And just when my hopes were raising, it crashed them down flatly.

There are bad vivas. There are worst vivas. Mine was embarrassing today.

*****

Education is an admirable thing. But it is well to be remembered from time to time that nothing worth knowing can ever be taught.                                                                                                                                                                                ~ Oscar Wilde.

The Sins That People Do

Pride. Envy.

I don’t know about the people people, but I do happen to know me. And these are my sins. Notwithstanding the romances of my future, I can almost vouch for my repentance in past.

The problem with these sins are that they are not outrageously apparent to naked eye. Unlike Gluttony or Sloth or even Greed, for that matter. Neither they are satiable. A glutton can eat, slother can sleep.. But what possibly could an envy-er do? Not be jealous? Well, dear reader, had it been so simple, there wouldn’t have been an Othello! And this post too..

I think I also cited Pride. To be truly true, it just makes up for 20 %; in my case, that is. And you thought devil’s favourite sin was Vanity? It should be Envy. There is nothing more haunting than Envy. To make it worse, it’s insatiable; inconsolable. Retribution-cum-Deprivation being the only salvation of this abjectly lost cause.

***

This city is afraid of me. I’ve seen it’s true face.

-Rorschach, Watchmen.

Random Lamentations

V-Days have never been good for me. Notwithstanding the fact that I’ve perpetually being without a valentine on every valentine’s day, rather, there is more to it than just mere and supremely overwhelming phenomenon of being single. Let us just not open that door yet.

Somehow.. Anyhow.. Everyhow.. I end up messing it up on this very particular day. Each time, any time, every time! Ironical? It’s such a meager word to use. Had that been the worst part, I would have been far more content right then. But as they say, things are never so bad that they can’t get worse.. Which explains my circumstances and me, wholesomely and most pertinently. Things just keep on getting worse and worse and then some more worse. Ad Infinitum! It feels sick deeper within, when it’s entirely not your fault. Just how “bad” someone’s luck might be? I think, I might be the cornerstone from now onwards, against whom one can measure his/her bad luck and be all happy and gay and content.

Happy Belated Valentines’ Day to all of you out there.

***

After all, the great MK Gandhi said- If you want to be happy, see the people below you.

The Departed

.. And then, She went!

Sans me being Content.

This, apparently, is not The End.

But I just don’t want to Understand.

Or May be, there never was such a thing

Only Dreams, Fantasy and more of Deceivings.

May be, we never Met.

We never Felt.

Then Howcome-

This Beautiful, Pregnant Essence?

Reality is such an Illusion!

Perhaps, I’d rather endorse Deceptions.

At the least, they do not wreck Sensations.

All I ask for..

.. is Redemption

This is the End..

Well, I think it’s enough. The theme, that is. It was good. It went nicely with my blog. I got appreciations which can only be attributed to it. But then.. like everything else in the world, this too had to end at some point of time. No matter how good or bad it is/was. And I think this is the end of it.

So here is the new theme. Not that any of you care about it. I just thought it’d be nice to let you people know. [As if you don't have eyes and stuff ]

***

This is the End, my only friend.. The End! I’ll never look into your eyes, Again..

-The End by The Doors [Do listen to it, if you can]

Come on, 2009! :)

A very Happy New Year to all!

The previous post was written in a jiffy. So it doesn’t count. Not for me, at the least. You see, the thing is that I’ve realized I can’t do many -or for that matter, any- thing in haste. I take my own little time. Which – in most cases is – [much] more than others. Eating, Ironing, Studying, Socializing… just to quote a few random examples. People who have known me wouldn’t be surprised a wee bit at any of it.

Anyway, let’s make it musical. There was a time – I can’t exactly recall when- perhaps last year or so, when there was such a dearth of good hindi music. I mean the songs weren’t just worth listening to twice. And I was pretty sure that that was the near end of Bollywood music. But thankfully, I was wrong. And wrong by light years! Of late, from November onwards or so, I don’t think I’ve listened to much of English. Songs from Dostana, Fashion, Yuvvraj, Ghajini, Jaane tu.., Rock On, et al.. and very recently, from Slumdog Millionaire, CC2C, Raaz-2, DevD, AR Rehman’s new album, LuckByChance… They all have been just too good! A huge chunk of this quality music is attributed to Rehman. I mean, the songs from Yuvvraj were so brilliant that I watched the entire movie just for them. [FYI- That movie isn’t worth watching at all except if you’re highly interested in Salmaan’s looks, or Rehman’s music or both.] Then there is Ghajini these days and there was Jaane Tu.. Ya Jaane Na a little while ago.

If you haven’t seen Slumdog Millionaire yet, or listened to it’s OST.. then you should immediately stop reading this crap and do aforementioned things ASAP! Or you can wait and watch it in theatres from 25th January onwards. I highly doubt if any Indian Director could’ve possibly made this movie the way a Firangi did. He showed a much more veracious India than any other contemporary Indian movies. Talent, can’t just be the raison d’être for this. Rather, what can be perceived from the movie is perspicacious homework. And the background score makes it even more lively. Your heart beat do get increased. Mine did! I won’t reveal where. Indian film industry, I feel, isn’t lagging behind in technology or talent or resources much these days. It falls back when hard work comes into picture. I mean, how many of the actors did built 8-packs just to make some action scenes look authentic and get into the feel of such character. But yes, there are those who would build a 6-pack to show it off in some totally inane dance sequence. But then, this is a free democratic country and people have their choices and preferences. I just wish they’d have prioritized a little more scrupulously.

While we’re still on movies, I feel morally obliged to let you people know about the movie named ‘The Curious Case of Benjamin Button’ which is one of the most intelligent movie I’ve seen in the recent present. It’s too long, boring.. Nonetheless Brilliant. I won’t say much about it, except that you should watch it.

***

In this new year, I’ve learnt that you can’t force yourself to fall in love. It just happens. Contrary to what I used to believe, but my credos have been fully replaced now by new ones. Change, as they say, is only inevitable. And necessary for one’s growth. [BTW, in that previous quote, I’ve been wondering from time immemorial that who are those they?] I used to hear this in movie/books, but now I know the truth behind it. And not vicariously. Then, it just doesn’t matter how good or bad the person might be. If you don’t feel, you just don’t feel. Nothing can be done about it. I don’t know how it is for others, but for me this has been the case so far. Also, you can’t make someone fall in love with you. Coz after all, the choice is theirs ultimately. Eh, it’s just too complicated. I can’t even express it here with panache. Chuck it. I landed incongruously.

***

It’s always great to catch up with old friends. It’s even greater to catch up with older friends. It’s even grander to catch up with people who have known you for past 10 years. The fact that you were together then, and you’re together now too.. is overwhelming enough. Everyone of them have changed drastically. But the best part is that we all changed in sync with each other. We are still as good friends as we used to be. The only difference being that then, we spent almost a day daily together, and now we spend a week together annually.

C’ est la vie…

Hold on, 2009!

Something tells me that I should write. Here. Soon. Lest it gets too late. And also update the widgets ['side images', for laymen like me]. But it’s too late for that. It’s funny [actually, it's not! It can be anything but "funny"] how [somehow] I always end up being here at this time of the day (which is 3:56 AM). That is to say, whenever I’m here doing this [writing], the time is that [more or less].
Rest Later. [In a day or two, most probably].

***
On this new year’s eve, I wish you health and happiness and peace.

This post has no title. Clearly, No substance as well.

There are times in your life, when blogging becomes a liability instead of being an asset. Well, not exactly “blogging” but writing in more general terms.
You plan for writing for days, but you just can’t write. The reasons could be myriad. Lets not get into them for the time being.
Then one fine day -or as in my case, night-you just go with the flow. You’ve nothing to write, yet it seems as if you can ramble on forever!

A lot has changed since the time I wrote that last post here. I don’t know why, but it seems that I’ve grown up more in past one month than in past one year. That is an exaggeration, apparently, but not of astronomical magnitude. In a nutshell, lets just say  that I do not think of myself as just a college going student anymore.

Oh No. I’m not going to write about terror attacks on Mumbai. I’m too callous for that. Think of me whatever you can. It’s not that I don’t care, coz I do. But I just don’t want to masquerade myself and put up a charade of peace and condemnation. I’m no Diplomat. And this is no newspaper article/site. Neither my musings here are going to make any difference to them. Who said ‘Pen is mightier than sword’? Obviously, they didn’t have keyboards back then.

No reading definitely makes Me a dull boy! Everything written is a quintessential proof.

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[I can't recall if I've mentioned this in my blog previously]

Be careful what you wish for, coz you just might get it all.. And then somethings you don’t want.

Sophos

..But this is the way, it is supposed to happen

I know that.

..And if that is the case,

Then why does it hurt so much?

Source- The Colour Purple by Alice Walker.

Resemblence to any person living or dead [w.r.t to my life, ofcourse! ] is purely coincidental.

October Onus

People have been wanting me to write. It feels good. Obviously it does! Even I’ve been wanting to write for quite some time now, but something or the other kept springing up. Then, there were times when I didn’t feel like writing. Anyway, let’s move on.
About the title- Ever since August 2006, I’ve written here every month. So this is a ritual, which has to be performed at least once in a month. I’m in no mood to break the chain right now. Oh, and by the way, this blog will soon get another author. The due delivery date is [tentatively] any day after 4th of November in this year. We’re waiting anxiously!
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I don’t like this time of the year. It’s not exactly cold, neither it’s hot. It’s somewhere in between. Over the past few days, I’ve learned that I like things in black and white. I really don’t see the point of being diplomatic as far as issues are concerned. Although, with people, it’s totally the other way round! Besides, people do appreciate if you’ve got an unequivocal standing [on issues]. It is of little significance then if your viewpoint doesn’t overlap with theirs.  Moreover, it also makes you an interesting conversationalist! Figure out how…
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And here is the reason why I don’t like this time of the year even more. It’s at this time that I realize my attendance is falling short in almost every course. I’ve to collect all my will power and determination to wake up at 7 then. The worst part is, that I can’t take a bath in the morning coz it’s too cold for that. And I don’t like getting out of hostel without showering. I also can’t bathe in morning. That implies- I can’t get out in morning. Hence, it becomes a vicious circle! Can I be accused for short attendance then? But I’m pretty sure; none of you has ever faced a problem of this kind. Now I’m thinking that [probably] I should change the name of the blog to “TheOnlyOne” Or does “SuiGeneris” sounds better? Shall we poll for it? [WordPress has introduced this feature very recently ]
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‘Kuch Kam’ from the [supposedly gay] movie Dostana is all I’ve been listening to from past 3 days! I don’t know whether to thank her or not. I want to hear to something else, but I just keep coming back to it after every few songs. There is something wrong with me. Or is it with the song? :-O
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Have you ever watched any play twice? Back to Back? With two of the world’s most beautiful women alongside? It’s absolutely worth it!
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A saturday

August 2005

A boy, straight out of school, comes to Delhi to pursue engineering. Not from a very metro city. Mostly unaware of how the world operates, with a pathetic dressing sense, and no communication skills whatsoever. Just the usual exuberance. And confidence. He had his first cell phone then. A brand new Nokia 2600 [har jeb mein rang]. There were hardly 10 contact numbers in that phone. But no e-mail id of his own.

October 2005

I think it was 17th of october, saturday. Time- 6:00 PM. He was at Sarojini Nagar Market. This was his very first visit to this place, which was to become so familiar in next few months. Kabooom! There was a blast in the market. It was in one of his adjacent lanes. Nobody panicked. Nobody knew the ambit of blasts. The crowd thought of it as some regular LPG cylinder bursting. He continued his shopping, like everyone else,  not for long though.. because in next 15 minutes there was police all over the place. They were trying to evacuate the market as calmly as they could, amidst all sorts of fire-rescue devices. And TV reporters. One of the reporters even talked to our guy. I think she was from NDTV. I can’t recall exactly what did he say, or rather did he say anything at all? Umm.. and he also had to board the train on that very same day. It was at 10PM. So what he did is that he paid 60 bucks to an auto from SN market to IIT hostel gate [it's normally 25-30, with augmented meter rates.. it was even cheaper then, but apparently, he didn't know coz as I already told you.. this was his first visit to market]. There were some 60 contacts in his Nokia 2600 by now. And one gmail, yahoo mail id each.

Circa- September 2008

13th, Saturday evening, again. Time was around 6:45PM. Our protagonist is sitting in his hostel room. He had a very depressing, lull day. He had been wanting to drink for some time now. Apparently, his throat was parched profusely. Suddenly, from somewhere, somehow.. his friend [ who was there to spend the weekend with him, and who had ragged him real bad, way back in August 2005] walks in and inform him about the blasts. In CP, in Karolbagh and in GK! Just 3? Fairly low-intensity. Hopefully, no one has died. Within sometime, his Nokia 2600 was flooded with sms’s. And he didn’t know whom to ask for well being. There were so many of them in his phone book! Then there were many others on net, whose number he didn’t have but they were as important as anyone else. May be, more important than others. But mostly he was callous. He did drink that day invariably. Infact, drank a little too much. After much cleansing of his ancient Nokia 2600, he is now left with some 190 odd contacts. He is very active on Orkut, Facebook, even Blogging! Was even awarded “Brilliant Weblog 2008″ by one of his fellow blogger.

This is how insensitive I -rather WE- have become.

Rocked On! Then Why so Serious?

Where do we begin? The Dark Kight? The Rakhi? The Independence Day?

Sorting out the list by the amount of verbosities which I’m about to do, I guess I’ll begin from TDK. This is my very first instance of watching a Hollywood action flick in theater. And I did it thrice, in order to make sure the impression is indelible. Now I guess the impression has become overwhelming! Surely, the movie isn’t as good as Godfather or Shawshank Redemption or the likes of it.. but it does deserve to be there in IMDB top 10. There are 3 USPs of the movie- Heath Ledger, the 10 minute pre-intermission car chase sequence and the ending. For me, I mean. Others might choose to differ. Fair enough. I’ll just like to add one more thing to it. If our parent’s generation boasted about dialogues of Sholay and The Godfather, our generation will take pride in dialogues of TDK. And not only of The Joker, but also of Batman, Bruce Wayne, Alfred, Lucius Fox and of course Harvey Dent.  I, in particular liked the ending. It was really moving. “Set the dogs on me…” is definitely the most accentuating dialogue of Batman in the movie.

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That was almost a fortnight ago.

Now, Rakhi and Independence day have become a little stale in the present context. I’ll just say this one thing which I didn’t realize by myself yet. Someone told me that I should avoid being in Delhi during Rakhis.. pata nahin kaun-kaun rakhi baandh de! This was brilliant! I mean why didn’t I think in this fashion before, with all my supposedly “dirty” mind? :-O She is intelligent, isn’t She? [Thanx She ] I know it is not a complement or something, but I felt immensely glad [and to be honest, a little proud too].

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Moving on, I saw Rock On yesterday. Well, I’ll not say the movie is excellent. But it’s definitely worth watching at least once in the hall. Mostly because of the music. Music, that is, if you’re into rock. Shanker, Ehsaan, Loy have done an excellent job of making rock in hindi. Before that, all the rock bands which I’ve heard in hindi sounded next to pathetic, if not pathetic. Agreed, that they have taken inspiration from some very popular rock bands and artists.. Nonetheless, that doesn’t mitigate their work. Use of bass guitar, which is like so rare in bollywood brings in refreshing winds of change. Best song is undoubtedly Pichle saat dinon mein(live version), hands down. It is heavily “inspired” from Bryan Adams [I can't remember which track exactly, probably cuts like a knife.. although I'll have to listen to it again in order to be sure]. The best scene [and the moment] of the movie? Entry of Arjun Rampal -aka Joe- ‘one song late’, playing guitar with elan displaying inimitable nonchalance relentlessly! You feel so good about it. And of course, some amazing acting by him and the rest of them. Nowhere did we feel that it’s the debut film of Prachi and Farhan. The film, on the whole isn’t too good. It’s really slow in the first half. But that is not the point. The film was meant to be musical opus, and it has succeeded in this endeavour with flying colours.  I’ve listened to nothing else since watching this movie. It’s been 24 [almost] continuous hours. For the time being, I’m just Rocked On. Totally!

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I wanted to say a few more things, but they’re just slipping of my mind right now. Invariably, I’ve written far more than I intended to. I think I will stop Me.

Aerials- The Musical…

Well, most of you know already know about this tag, so I wont repeat the rules again. Those who don’t, will surely understand by the time they finish reading this. By the way, just a little suggestion from me- No matter if you are/are not a blogger/reader/ writer, I think everyone should do this. And keep a record of it. It’s so much fun! Believe me, you’d actually get a few answers very very perfect!

• If some says, “is this OK” you say- No Rain (Blind melon)
• What would best describe your personality- Night Crawler (Judas Priest) [This is Interesting!]
• What do you like in a girl/guy- Paranoid (Black Sabbath) [No Way!]
• How do you feel today- Creep (Radiohead) [Probably.. ]
• The purpose of  your life- Hallowed be thy Name (Iron Maiden) [I was fearing this! It isn't accurate, but not totally wrong either ]
• What do your friends think of you- Us and Them (Pink Floyd) [Well, can't really comment on this.]
• What do you think of your parents- Undertow (Pain of Salvation) [So not true! Doesn't make any sense at all!]
• What do you think about very often- Jailbreak (AC/DC) [This is Bang on target!]
• What do you think of your best friend- Every Woman in the World (Air Supply) [No Comments! ]
• What do you think of the person you like- I am Mine (Pearl Jam) [ I beg to differ, please! They were so many other romantic tracks in the playlist. Out of all those, only this one has to here? Fancy that! :-X ]
• What is your life’s story- It ends tonight (The All-American Rejects) [Huh? What? I certainly hope not. I don't wanna die virgin ]
• What do you want to be when you grow up- Time is Running Out (Muse) [Again, What? :-O]
• What do you think when you see the person you like- Black Star (Yngwie Malmsteen) [I seriously don't know the meaning of this song, or this tag either!]
• What do your parents think of you- Making love out of nothing at all (Air Supply) [I think the questions and songs are not in sync ]
• What will you dance to at your wedding- Chop Suey (System of a Down) [If only anyone can "dance" to it, I surely would!]
• What will they play at your funeral- Time of Your Life (Greenday) [This is nice ]
• What is your hobby/interests- Where did you sleep last night (Nirvana) [It so does not!]
• What is your biggest secret- Life is Wonderful (Jason Mraz) [Huh?]
• What do you think of your friends- Sweet Child of Mine (Guns N’ Roses) [Exactly!]
• What should you post this as- Aerials (System of a Down) [This saves me of thinking another blog title. Phew.]
• What do you think about this tag- Walk this Way (Aerosmith)

You could [would] be mine

Again, I found this poem written in the back page of one of my notebooks. I might have not liked it when I wrote it, but I liked it today when I read it. For a change, it actually makes sense! Although, like always, the resemblance to any living/dead person is purely coincidental.

Some day you’ll be mine

That day, we’ll shine.

One day, you’ll find

I was not so out of my mind.

The promises which I made,

Were not supposed to fade.

Perhaps, I’m loner today;

The solitude won’t last forever

The sun will crawl up the river

.. And the night will go away.

I promise, you’ll listen..

And we’ll move on.

Birthdays Birthdays!

Alrite. So last Friday was my birthday. Again! I pretty much remember all my birthdays. Since my sixth, that is. And this wasn’t much different from the rest of them. None of my birthdays have been good for me yet. I mean, on all my birthdays, I did get one or the other disturbing news. What I got on this birthday, I will not like to disclose here. Simply speaking, it’s not worth it. What was even worse was that I didn’t get wished from people whom I really wanted to, well.. except a few. But there were considerable amount of wishes I got. My most sincere thanks to each of you who did remember. Those who didn’t, I bear no grudge. It happens. And when it’s me, this happens more than often. The fault is in my stars.

Or maybe The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, But in ourselves ..

5 Things I learned today

1. Never ever send a message sans your name, in case your number is changed.

2. Don’t use people unless you know them well. Make friendship first. Then ask for favour. Not the other way round. The Godfather Style, is very applicable even in today’s world.. and not just occidentally, but indigenously as well.

3. Use your authority on those whom you have the right. And this right is cultivated over a long period of time, acquaintance and friendship. Not just in a day or two.

4. If you’re using someone else’s computer in his/her room, the decent thing to do is to vacate his/her chair when the concerned person returns.

5. Don’t compare yourself with others irrationaly. Sab aisa hi kar rahe hai, doesn’t work. You’re not anyone else, but You. The circumstances, the temperament, line of thought, the attitude, the approach.. these all are different for different people. Hence, using the aforementioned as maxim, time and again makes you look outrageously stupid.

Love-All at Breakpoint

FYI- I don’t like Tennis. Not as much as some of the other people do. So for those “some” people, this post might be a little rude, offensive. My apologies to them in advance. I’m not liable to any acquistion if you choose to read further.

So there was this tritely [in]famous final between these two giants of lawn tennis, for the umpteenth number of time! Had Federar won, the papparazi would have again showered condolences on Nadal, empathizing with him like hell.. Big Deal! The repercussions, in that case wouldn’t have been as stirring as they are now. They say that it’s ‘an end of era’, ‘a new dawn of hope’ and all those clichés. I say it’s nothing. Just a win doesn’t prooves anyone’s mettle. India beating Australia in that final of triangular series down under didn’t make India the better team than Australia. It was just the matter of “that” day. It was India’s. Like it was of Nadal’s.

When a Tennis Match goes up to 5 sets, it’s really unfair to decide a winner. Then, the luck factor comes into play as well. Remember, Goran Ivanisevic? Beating Rafter in what was called a marathon game. And the final set of it? This game was no different than the present one, as for the sheer determination of both the winners. The only difference (which overshadows everything else, sadly) being that Ivanisevic wasn’t as well known as then as Nadal is now.

This doesn’t mean that I’m pro-Federar or something. I support no one, as I aforementioned. But definitely, Radal’s win is kind of change from monopoly (and monotony) of Federar. All in all, it is good for Tennis.

Here is why I don’t like Tennis. I don’t like it because I never played it. Hence, I can’t appreciate the finesse, nuances, the technique of the game. For me, [mostly] tennis is like a foreign film, with no subtitles. And this goes for every game on which I never had a first hand experience. I only started liking football once I started playing it. The better I got at it, the more I enjoyed watching it. I don’t know what it takes to hit a perfect ace. I don’t know how much practice it takes to win a point from baseline. I don’t know the strategies of net game, of hitting volleys. All this, despite the fact that I’ve played Badminton professionally, which isn’t much different than tennis, theoretically.

And here is why I don’t like tennis even more. Of all the Tennis-Crazy people, I believe almost 80 % have never seen a tennis racquet in real life. And yet, they go ‘Go-FedEx’. What the hell! Do they even know how much stamina it takes to run up-and-down court infinite number of times? To hit just that one ace, do they have any bit of idea how much he or she has worked over it? Backhand doesn’t come naturally to many. Have they ever seen Gustavo Kuerton’s powerful backhands? I’ll consider anyone a die-hard tennis fan if he/she can answer all the above questions in affirmative, and perhaps point out my mistake which I’m sure have made. Coz I’m not a fan of tennis, I can’t answer most of them in affirmative with conviction. This is what it takes to be a fan.

What deserve to be done, deserves to Overdone. - Harry Crews.

I might sound too strong in my opinions, but I’m not. All I wanted to say here is that don’t make a charade of you being ultimate tennis fanatic. Coz if you really are, you definitely wont. And don’t get too  hyper over one Federar loss or Radal’s win.

I don’t have much knowledge on tennis, so it’s still Love-All for me. Which, by the way, is a very useful maxim to be followed otherwise